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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/5325-We-Accept-the-Love-We-Think-We-Deserve.html
Romance/Love: October 24, 2012 Issue [#5325]

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Romance/Love


 This week: We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve
  Edited by: Crys-not really here Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

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Welcome to another edition of the Romance/Love Newsletter! I'm Crys-not really here Author IconMail Icon, your editor this week!


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Letter from the editor

"We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve"


I have been thinking lately about motivations. If you've read "For Authors Newsletter (October 17, 2012)" Open in new Window., you know that I have recently discovered how Freud's basic principals can be applied to creating character motivation. But what motivates our characters to fall in love? What motivates us to fall in love?

Some may say "it just happens" or "it happens when we least expect it." Both statements are probably true. But what makes us attracted to another human being? At what point does our attraction decide to turn down the path of either love or lust? What, really, is love? How do we know when we're in love?

If I had easy answers to these questions, I probably wouldn't have any trouble with my own love life. *Wink* As human beings, our best answers about love tend to be in the form of cliches. "Love is a warm fuzzy feeling" or "Love means never having to say you're sorry" or "You know you're in love when you can't stand to be apart for too long."

Bleh. You know how I feel about cliches. *Pthb*

The one thing I know for sure about love was said by Emma Watson as Sam in the movie "Perks of Being a Wallflower:"

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

This is why those of us with low self-esteem chose significant others that treat us poorly. This is also why those of us with high self-esteem may not believe that anyone is good enough for our love.

If you want to think about what kind of romantic relationship your character should be involved in, first consider how the character thinks about him or herself. I recommend doing a full character inventory to learn all about your character's background story, motivations, family relationships, etc. Then, find a way to make that moment when he/she falls in love realistic to his/her life.


Editor's Picks

 A Farewell Open in new Window. [E]
A sailor off to war must leave his lover behind.
by Boston Author Icon

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by A Guest Visitor

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by A Guest Visitor

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by A Guest Visitor

 The Keys Open in new Window. [E]
A couple share a romantic day down the Keys
by Boston Author Icon

 
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My Wants And Needs Open in new Window. [E]
What words could I say to tell of the love you have given me.
by Kings Author Icon

 
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Ask & Answer

More opinions on Fifty Shades:

I understand that the writing is meh and her plot is predictable, but I can't say I didn't fall in love with the books. Yes, they're sugary candy that I digest in a couple of hours. Yes, it's not even close to the next great American novel. And yes, there's a lot of argument for the fact that it's basically porn. Honesty, I fell in love with Christian and found Ana to be very interesting. (I also couldn't help my bodily reaction to some of those scenes *blush*) Everybody needs some candy now and again. I hat being attacked because of my reading choices and how "they're horrible excuses for a novel". Well, whatever. I enjoy it and I'm reading. It's more than some others can say. -Kelsey needs to write! Author IconMail Icon

I'm sorry if you felt attacked by my opinion on the novels. My opinions are those of a concerned author, and everyone is entitled to their opinions as a reader.

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