  Comedy
This week: Trying to Find the Humor in Paying Taxes Edited by: Sophurky  
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It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. -- Dave Barry
Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week in the US, our tax filing deadline for 2010 came and went (on April 18 -- no clue why it wasn't the usual April 15, but I don't ask. The IRS scares me!) and I am trying to find the humor in that.  |
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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax.
- Albert Einstein
Wow, and he was a genius! Imagine what it's like for the rest of us schmucks!
In my house, we pay quarterly tax estimates every April, June, September, and January because the IRS considers us "self employed" for reasons I've given up trying to understand since, in actuality, we are employed. Whatever. So four times a year I fill out one coupon for the state, and one for the US government, and then I write them each a check, address two different envelopes, and then send off my hard earned money to "the man" on or before the 15th of the aforementioned months. I am obsessive compulsive afraid of the IRS a good citizen, so I take great care when paying my quarterly estimates. Not only do I pay them on time (or early) I double, sometimes triple check to make sure that the right check for the right amount go with the right coupon into the right envelope. (Remember this part, it's integral to the story!)
Because I am obsessive compulsive afraid of the IRS a careful bookkeeper, I usually go to my online bank account around the 20th of each month an estimate is due to see when the checks clear. In this case, on January 20, 2011, the lesser check to the state had been cashed but no sign of the IRS check, which I found odd, since they seriously don't let any grass grow under their feet before cashing our checks, that's for sure. I waited another week and still no IRS check was cashed. I contacted our accountant about it, and he suggested the check had been lost in the mail and that I should send another check to them to avoid the penalty that would be imposed if I was late with the estimate. (You ever notice how if you are late they penalize you, but if they are late with your refund, nothing happens?) He also suggested I send the second check via certified mail, and cancel the other check.
So I did. Well, sort of. I went online to verify the check had still not been cashed by the IRS, then I went to the local PO and sent the second check via certified mail, and THEN I contacted my bank only to discover that the first check had finally cleared, probably just at the moment I was mailing the second check. So now they were going to cash two of my checks. On the bright side, we never usually get a tax refund in April -- but since I paid double what we owed in January, we'd be getting a "refund" this year, wooo hooo!  On the dark side, it was really a refund, it was just them paying us back money we overpaid, not to mention we were out money we weren't expecting to be out of our account so we'd need to juggle our funds carefully until we got our "refund."
Now's where the story gets interesting funny mildly amusing? We filed our taxes electronically through our accountant on Tues, April 5. On Thursday April 7 we got a letter from the state saying they only got three payments instead of four and therefore we did not pay them what we claimed to have paid them for 2010. I knew darn well they were wrong because I had proof of four cashed checks to the state. I went online, downloaded the proof of their having been cashed, sent them to Mr. Accountant, and told him to fix it for me. That's when we both noticed that the January 15 check to the state had been cashed, yes, but not by the state. It had been cashed by the IRS. Which meant ....... oy vey! The reason the first January check to the IRS had been so late being cashed by them was because yes, you got it, I sent the IRS check to the state and the state check to the IRS. And the state, being a nice state, noticed my error and mailed my IRS check to the IRS, which explains the delay in their receiving it. However, the IRS, being the IRS, didn't send the state check to the state -- instead they kept it, and cashed it themselves! So the state was right, I owed them money!
I've been paying estimates for 22 years with no problem, no error -- until this year. I have decided to blame my recent fascination with the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" for the error this year. Ladies, you owe me money! |
Below you'll find some humorous offerings from other WDC members about taxes -- if you read and enjoy them, remember to leave a rating/review for the member!
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Now for a few comments from my last Comedy Newsletter, "Comedy Newsletter (March 23, 2011)" :
From billwilcox
SophY,
This was a great cat story. Now I know why some cultures just eat their cats and be done with them.
Oh Billy .......
     
From ladyrebel5312
I thoughly enjoyed the first Comedy Newsleeter. The cat story was wonderful. great work,keep on writing.
Thanks for writing in, glad you enjoyed it!
From wakko71
Heyas! I noticed that this entire newsletter showcased many written items related to pets and animals.
Apparently you didn't know about my index: "Invalid Item"
If you like comedic animal stories, I guess you also weren't aware of | | | Invalid Item
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#1699654 by Not Available. |
, either that, or you didn't like it, even though it actually happened.
Anyways - peace to you!
- Jen 
Thanks for writing in -- I'm happy to post them now! As I'm sure you can understand, I can't possibly feature every comedic item that fits my topic in each issue -- but I'm always glad when people send theirs in, so thanks for sharing them with us.
From
I loved the story about Dugan. I'm submitting a story about our dog Panda--and my daughter's determination to get a dog.
Glad you enjoyed the story -- thanks for sending in your item!
From
Poor Dugan! Happy Nine!
Thanks! Dugan was fine ... he lived a long happy life after that, in spite of his numerous adventures.
From
You are right on about animals and comedy. I have an entire section in my port devoted to funny stories about my cats. Frankly, if I hadn't witnessed the events myself, I would swear that they were fiction.
Exactly -- they just don't seem like they could be true, but oh, they are!
From
Hi Sophy!
You're right. Pets are wonderful fodder for comedy. We love them so much that we start to smile at the mere mention of a pet. It doesn't take much more effort to get us laughing. I enjoyed your story far more than you, Dugan, and your neighbor did (at the time)!
-- Laura
Glad you enjoyed it -- and yes, it was not fun at the time but it's sure funny now!
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky
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Comedy: April 20, 2011 Issue [#4344]
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