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This week: Fuhhh-gettaboutit and Laugh! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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We all have little disappointments in life. If we manage to find the humor at these times, we may make it out alive -- or at least sane. This past year has had some stressful moments for me. However, the big things got handled just fine and that's great. It's those little nagging events that can drive you bonkers if you don't find the humor. Let's take a look ...
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Hello, folks! Welcome to my second anniversary, Comedy Newsletter. It's my honor and great pleasure to be here as your editor and I am looking forward to another wonderful year with you. 
As summer begins to fade here in the Northern Hemisphere, I couldn't help but think back over the year, 2010. I know, I know, that's something you're supposed to do at the end of the year, not the end of summer. However, I have maintained this mantra throughout the year -- 2010 Sucks!
No, I'm not trying to take away from the fact that it is also a year of celebration as WDC's decade online is quite a milestone.  It's also my second anniversary as a Comedy Newsletter editor. I'm talking about those events that ranged from frightening to simply irritating, from a house fire in January, followed by the furnace breaking down, then the refrigerator followed along so as not feel left out and two rooms of pipes burst, which caused damage in the bedroom below, followed by months of construction all the way through the summer with its garage sale free-for-alls, (People are strange about these things) just to name a few.
Nevertheless, my summer was great! I got to go on mini, escape-construction-trips, as well as a long trip with WL, getting to my daughter's wedding in Colorado. I did miss seeing the hotel in the movie, "The Shining," because I got that message from my daughter when I had already reached Wyoming.
"OBTW, Mom, before you hit the road, you should go see the Shining place."
"Thanks, sweetie, I think I missed that chance. But, Oh, thank you for letting me know about it, now. I'll just think about how close I was to it and how much farther away I am from it and just be happy that I was in the same vicinity." 
An escape trip took us to the Finger Lakes Region, in New York State. We checked into one of the usual inns we like to frequent, except this one was under new or no management, because kids were allowed to run wildly free, overload the adult Jacuzzi and pull the fire alarm at will when they're not busy crank calling a room.
We were placed in a handicap-accessible room, (Not that we asked for or needed one!) which had no vanity counter by the sink, because, I guess if your handicapped, you don't care about things like brushing your teeth, applying make-up or setting down a favorite bottle of body lotion -- Uhh, hellooo! Are you people for real?
Later that night, well let's say about midnight, the phone starts to ring. I pick it up and nobody answered. At two in the morning, the blasted fire alarm went on! Being no stranger to a residence on fire, I awakened WL and told him we had to escape a fire. It was a false alarm, of course. We did manage to fall asleep when it was nearly dawn only to be rudely awakened by -- you guessed it, another fire alarm! We dragged our tired bodies out to the car, awaited clearance from the Fire Department, went back to our room and grabbed our luggage, jumped back in the car and never looked back. Remember, this was supposed to be a relaxing trip away from the noise of construction.
On our long trip, we planned to cover as much territory and points of interest as possible. We all know of my disappointment over missing Mount Rushmore. Enough said on that one!
Web-Lock wanted to take me to the covered bridges, made famous by the movie, "The Bridges of Madison County." However, he had checked his cell phone for the weather and noticed that a deluge of rain, tornadoes and other happenstances of nature would be shedding their wrath upon that area at the precise moment we would get there. Cross that one off the list!
"Hey WW, Minnesota is great this time of year. Look at all of those Air Turbines. Wow, they span as far as the eye can see."
"I've seen windmills before, WL. I lived in California not far from the Altamont Pass."
Okay, I got over it. All in all, the trip was pleasant. However, the irony of the decision to take the high road was that the threatening weather did not know it was supposed to stay only in Iowa, so we raced across Minnesota, with hail, rain, thunder, lightning and tornado warnings, in fear of our lives!
Moreover, stress doesn't only stem from personal events. Take Web-Son, for instance. He was traveling to Colorado via jet and couldn't seem to get through security. We worried about his return flight to Boston. Web-Son does seem to be a trouble magnet for some peculiar reason.  Just the other day, the recently licensed teen, was stopped by the police car that followed him for several miles. He was returning from college and met up with the cruiser at a "Dunkin' Donuts." (Big surprise there, eh?! ) He was not speeding, but got pulled over a few miles down the road.
"License and registration, please."
My son obliged with the license but couldn't find the registration through the maze of papers in his grandmother's glove compartment.
"You wait here, I have to run the registration since you couldn't produce it. By the way, Son, do you always carry a kubotan with you?"
"Oh, this thing? This is my key chain. My uncle gave it to me. I guess you could say it does resemble a kubotan. But it's a great key chain because it's big and harder to lose. I carry it with me whenever I need to use these keys."
"Hmmmmm, well, okay then. I'll just be a few minutes running the registration."
He returned moments later.
"Son, I ran your plates while driving behind you these past few miles, sipping my coffee and downing the most heavenly, Bavarian Cream donuts I've ever had. I'm disappointed that I had to do this pull-over. Do you realize that this car you're driving is silver and it states here on the information that came back on your plates, that the car is blue? This isn't your car is it?"
"No, sir, it belongs to my grandmother. She is letting me borrow it to see how I like it, before she gives it to me. I guess she was mistaken about the color. She's old, almost eighty-five and could have done that easily."
The officer gave WS some surprising news. 
"Did you know that your grandmother's license has expired?"
"Really? I guess she forgot to do that sir, I mean, she is very old."
"Well, you should tell her to go and get her license renewed soon."
"Okay, sir, I will do that."
The officer looked into this "old lady car" and saw the ceiling fabric being held onto the roof's inner foam lining with push-pins. It was a lovely quilted look, I guess, if you are into that sort of stuff within the confines of your vehicle. However, it reminds me of a coffin lining. Then, he saw the glove compartment, broken in the down position, with duct tape around it and an umbrella on the floor holding it up for support. As he surrounded the vehicle, he noticed dings, bumps, full-length scratch marks and assorted sizes of bumper and fender dents.
"Son, on second thought, tell Granny she shouldn't worry about renewing that license. We are all a little safer with her off the road. You have a good day now and don't forget to convince her how much you love and need this car to be yours, permanently!"
Well folks, the stories of Grand-Web~Mom, will hit these pages soon. WW got her humor from somebody, you know. 
It's a wrap for this anniversary edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
WW |
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Last month I gave you readers a challenge/contest. You had to guess who Web-Lock is. He is a member of WDC. There were many clues to find, so this was a fair contest. Below are the winners:
1. On 8/18/10 at 4:52am, A.T.B: It'sWhatWeDo  wrote:
8/18/2010, approx 4:50am WDC time:
The newsletter just posted - I'm a comedy nut myself so I pounced like Hobbes upon
Calvin's return from school...and beheld the strangest contest!
So after some manic digging (I currently have 14 tabs open in 2 different browsers)
I'm just going to go ahead and guess before I spend my whole day gaining the FBI's
attention, digging around in all your business searching for the toil and trouble to your
double, double.
My guess is: (fingers crossed) drjim (Largest clue was your husband called you "Webbie" in your NL story, and Dr. J does as well in one of your feedback comments...but see below for my possibly comical offer.
>.< Did I get it right?
Hope you're well - wonderful newsletter as always.
Drew
If I guess right, I'll point out my detective work so you can feature it for laughs at my OCD regarding your marital status. =)
Congratulations on two great years of newslettering!
Andrew's detective work:
"Webbie" was the first clue - nicely placed; all I needed to narrow my search.
Your biographies were both blank - for a Mod and a PA, that's like heresy (and also tres suspicious, no?)
I didn't place as much emphasis on your port items necessarily, but the lack of notebook scribbles between the two of you is evidence of proximity.
Then the Merit Badges...it was like watching a romance unfold, one little token of appreciation or gratitude at a time.
What sealed it for me, actually, was the Medical Merit Badge that Dr. J received...the language with which you thanked him for his caring companionship brought my strong suspicions to absolute certainty (and a bit of envy).
You seem like quite a lucky, beautiful couple - may I extend my thanks for the challenge, reward, and the chance to get to know you and Dr. J both a little better. Don't be surprised if certain works of yours and his receive a portion of my winnings.
Can I ask, however, if the first two stanzas of Fallen relate to your commitment?
Wind out of the Nor'East
on any other day
would have brought snow
falling fast as a furnace blast.
A lone maple seed pod
arrives through the doorway
asking plaintively -
"Can I stay?" "Might I stay?"
Is he the maple seed pod asking to stay? I saw that you were a Nor'Easter yourself in your Port welcome block...
WW:My lips are sealed!
This has actually been rather lovely.
Best always!
Drew
Fantastic work, Drew!
You won 100,000 GPs and a Detective Merit Badge! 
2. On 8/18/10 at 1:55pm, Pepper  wrote:
I'm going to go out on a limb, but is WEB-LOCK drjim ?
Pepper
Pepper's detective work:
 In your port under images, you have one that is labeled "DrJ & I celebrate Halloween..." Something to that effect. If he was just a friend from here, I didn't think you would have such an image... He also referred to you as the "lovely WW" in one of his comments on your newsletter. So, I took a shot and guessed! Took me probably a good hour though to come to that conclusion. It was fun!
Pepper
Great, Pepper! I'm glad you took a shot at it.
You've won 25,000 GPs, plus a Detective Merit Badge!
3. On 8/19/10 at 9:11pm, Rain_Maker wrote:
Is the answer to your newsletter question: drjim
Rain_Maker I laugh manically in the face
of sanity!
Rain Maker's detective work:
A signature picture gave it away as far as I remember...
You've won a Detective MB, plus, 10,000 GPs! 
I was feeling generous, so I have sent Detective Merit Badges to the next two correct guesses:
Ashley
I'm probably too late, but I have a guess of who WebLock is:
drjim
**********
Lornda 
Hello there, Ms. WW!
Just wanted to drop you a quick line in response to your latest newsletter! (Yes, I'm slow--I arrived back from 2 weeks vacay and can't snap out of it-- )  This was perfect timing for me to read because it's a vacation story! I had to share why it made me laugh--okay, get this, on our vacation travels we eat out, that's part of the vacation, no cooking! Over the course of the two weeks, one restaurant brings Mr. Lornda a half-cooked meal--bits of cheese not even melted and the beef still mooing! Mr. Lornda never complains, but he talked with the manager and got another meal and they gave us his meal for free. The second place, lost our order for the main meal, but we got our appetizer and salads! The manager apoligized for the mix-up and said our meal would arrive in 7-8 minutes....which in reality it was 15-20--they were so nice to give us the appetizer for free--well, great scott! What am I going to do with that extra eight bucks? To top the whole vacation off, in one small town, we get to a chicken place for lunch and they inform us they've had an E.coli outbreak and are the only diner in town open....'What would you like to order?" Okay, we're done!
After reading this I think I should make this story a 'Quirk File' entry! Great Scott! We had nice weather though!
Anyway, thanks for making me laugh! I wanted to check in with ya'! Oh, and great little contest you had going there! I had my suspicions that you were with 'Dr.Jim'-- ( drjim) I read the merit badge you gave him for his birthday! And then found the one he sent you thanking you for the party! Way to go! Let the good times roll!
There's my rambling for now!
Keep up the amazing newsletter writing and a BIG congrats as you enter your third year as editor!
   
My best,
Lornda
Congratulations! You've all done a great job at being detectives.  Now you all know who he is.
Thanks for the feedback, folks! We editors really appreciate it.
See you next month!
WW
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Comedy: September 15, 2010 Issue [#3961]
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