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Spiritual: April 14, 2010 Issue [#3647]

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Spiritual


 This week: Being a Role Model
  Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Me? A Role Model?
But I don't know how to be one!


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Letter from the editor

I had finally done it.

Decided, after must stress, some tears and a couple of years of soul-searching, I had handed in my resignation letter. I was leaving the corporate world, turning my back on the excitement of writing advertising copy, taking a big drop in pay, and becoming a librarian in a school.

It would be wonderful! In this age of electronic-entertainment, I would encourage children to re-discover the joys of the written word. I would wean them away from their TV sets and video games. I would show them the exciting adventures to be found on the printed page.

I would, in fact, be a role-model.

Here, I stopped short.

I had never been a role-model before. I had never had to be. Now, suddenly, I'd have five hundred kids ranging in age from six to fifteen years looking up to me. (Or down, some of them being much taller than moi, but you know what I mean.) And I had no idea how to go about it.

Initially, I tried to be a 'friend'. I'd joke with them and indulge them if they wanted to shoot paper pellets at each other in my libarary. If they see me as a buddy, they'll start reading, I thought. Just shows how naive I was, back then, a decade-and-a-half ago.

It didn't take me long to shake off that feeling, however. All that happened was that my library was in shambles, my nerves were always on edge, the few good readers were disgusted with me.

So I went the other way.

I became a complete disciplinarian. I wouldn't allow them to talk or move in the library. They had to get a book and sit down and read it. You already know where this is going, don't you? Well, I'll say it. That approach didn't work either, of course. Those who liked reading still liked it, those who didn't, didn't. I wasn't adding any value to anything. And the library wasn't a welcoming place.

Before I quit the librarianship to go freelance, doing my own workshops, I had more-or-less worked it out. Not that I didn't make many frustrating mistakes, but I did find some kind of balance.

Here's how I handle it now:-

1. Creative freedom does not mean disciplinary licence.
While the kids are free to interpret my instructions - like write a story instead of the poem I'd assigned if they feel like - they have to be on time for class, they cannot disturb others, they must bring their note book and pencil and they must do the work I've assigned (and not their math homework) when they're in my room.

2. I try to be my best, but I'm still 'me'.
I'm not a 'buddy' and I'm not Ms. Discipline anymore. I'm me. I'm a human being who loves her job - loves books, likes kids - and I don't hesitate to let that show. Sometimes I'm feeling great and at other times I'm unwell or down. If I'm unwell, I tell the kids so. They understand. They're human, too.

3. I have my favourite students.
All students are not equal, and it's no use pretending so.
Yes, I like some students more than I like others. Mostly, I like the ones who share my passion for books and discussing plot, character and what not.
I used to try not to show it, but hiding it made it worse.
Now, every student knows who my favourites are, and you know what? They don't resent it. As long as I'm fair about who gets to choose books first, unbiassed with scores when we play word-games in the library, and even handed when it comes to doling out minor punishments, my non-favourites are quite happy to accept my favourites as such.

4. I enjoy my achievements and accept what I can't change.
I pride myself on achieving results. I like it when kids' mothers phone me to say their non-readers are now suddenly asking to visit the library, or buy books. I pat myself on the back, then. I talk about it to my friends.
But I have one or two students who flatly say they dislike reading, and wouldn't choose it as a hobby no matter what I do. I used to let that get me down. I wanted all of the students to read some of the time. However, a few of them want to read none of the time.
Now, I accept it. If I see that I can't change the student's mind, I just say, "Well, you're going to have to put up with reading while you're in this room for now!" as cheerfully as I can. I try to bring books that might catch their attention. They sigh with resignation and do so, sometimes daydreaming about other things while they stare at the page. But they know they have to put up with it, and they do. I don't sweat as much about it as I used to.

5. I 'practise' what I 'preach' (if you can call it preaching!)
I want them to love reading, I model that! It's not hard, I love reading anyway! So I let them see me absorbed in a book, while I'm waiting for everyone to come in, at lunchtime, whenever!

6. I say what I mean, I mean what I say!
If I make a promise or a threat, I try to ensure it's one that I can carry out!

So I've realised that being a role model doesn't mean being anyone else.

It just means being as good a 'me' as I can be.

Thanks for listening!
- Sonali


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Ask & Answer

A big thank you to those who responded to "Spiritual Newsletter (June 17, 2009)Open in new Window.

VOTE:ObamaDramaOverIn2012:D Author IconMail Icon

Sonali - The story about your grandparents was wonderful and enriching as your Nanima so gingerly demonstrated early in her marriage. Sharing interests was the commonality that secured and deepened those tender times together. That everyone could experience such love!
I enjoyed the sweet story - Thank you. *Delight*


spidey Author IconMail Icon

I've always felt that grandparents are very special, influential people in our lives. I learned a great deal about life from mine, and though they're no longer living, they live on in my heart and my memories. *Smile*

Great Newsletter! Thanks for sharing!


Wonderful to hear from both of you, thanks so much!

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