  Horror/Scary
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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Descriptions: Writing For the Blind
Have you ever considered writing as if you were describing something to a blind person?
No, no, no…not really blind, but as though you were describing something to someone who is actually seeing it for the very first time in their life.
That’s the way I look at writing. Because isn’t it true that every reader who starts a new story is in total darkness. They know nothing of where the tale is going to go, or what it will look like when they get there. So, as though writing for the blind, our descriptions have to be good, prose-like, filled with colorful, and creative similes and metaphors, alliterations and mnemonics (a special word used to help a person remember something) .
As writers, we gotta go the extra mile. We gotta put the reader into the story, so we must paint our picture by using things, or colors, that people can associate with, that they can relate to from memory.
Hot coals smoldered sullenly in the dark corners of her mind capable of flaring into an all-consuming fire.
I learned some time back that the best way to reach a person is to give them an example, or story, that opens the person you are trying to reach on some emotional level. Once they can relate to what you are saying emotionally, then they will be willing to understand what it is you are trying to say. I learn this from a fella named Gary Smally in his presentation of a series called 'Loving Relationships' which I was encouraged by my wife to listen to. It has allowed me to communicate better with my family because I now know how to make them listen rather then forcing them to listen to what I have to say.
After reading my work, people have told me over and over again how they felt as though they were part of the story. I believe it is because of how I was able to reach them emotionally through a past memory that they could relate to.
The idea is to use descriptions that cause an emotional reaction from memories.
Take for instance this sentence…
The sky had completely shrouded itself in the gray clouds.
Overall, that’s a very descriptive sentence; it drums up a vivid image of the wise old sky covered in a shroud of gray clouds. BUT, what if we continued using that great verb, shrouded? What else do we know about shrouds? Well, you could say…
The sky had completely shrouded itself in the gray clouds that it had been steadily knitting since morning.
So, what happened?
We’ve pulled another memory from our reader: knitting. Plus, we’ve linked the two verbs together in a most unique and creative way while still describing the cloudy sky. Now think about it: we’ve all seen grandmothers knit; we’ve all seen elderly women covered in gray or black shrouds. The trick, or technique here, is to follow the trail of a strong verb (like a blind man, if you will) and ask yourself what you know about that verb.
This verb was shrouded, which led us to knitting. But we could have also used covered, veiled, or even cloaked. All good strong verbs! But knitting was unique.
Let’s try another…
She cried in broken bird sounds.
This one is pretty easy to follow: bird sounds. But remember, not just any bird sounds, but broken bird sounds.
So what can you imagine about broken bird sounds?
How about...feather-soft sobs like lonely pigeons in the rafters.
That’s good, but what else?
Or the misery of windblown gulls.
Now that paints a picture!
She cried in broken bird sounds: feather-soft sobs like lonely pigeons in the rafters, or the misery of windblown gulls.
Now that is a lonely, yet vivid picture because we can all remember hearing at some time or another, pigeons in the rafters and the misery of a windblown gull flying overhead. And it’s that memory that makes the sentence connect more with the reader, and that makes it unique.
Until next time,
billwilcox
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To Blindly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before...
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DEAD LETTERS
Shard 
Comment:
Great NL the advice about not showing your monster for as long as possible is brilliant I never thought about how not seeing can cause fear before. I've only tried writing horror once but I figured just working from one emotion and expanding from that with things related to it can make a good story of any genre.
bronxbishop
Comment:
Now that is spooky stuff! Great newsletter, W. D. Building the suspense of the monster/ghost/creature/mother-in-law is the best part of the ride!
-Bronx
Adriana Noir
Comment:
Smashing newsletter and advice as always, Bill! Though I admit, I'm now a little worried. You mean turning on the lights and hiding under the covers tactic isn't going to stop anything? Now that's true horror!
Joy 
Comment:
Great advice, Bill!
"Don't show your monster until you absolutely have to...And the longer you can pull that off, the scarier your story will become."
A very effective tension builder. I'll keep that in mind.
Spooky, Cute & staiNed 
Comment:
Wow!!!!
Danger Mouse 
Comment:
Very good newsletter. Building suspense depends so much on telling just enough to pull the reader along into the fear, and not so much that they see the end or get scared away.
very thankful
Comment:
Hi,
I'm sorry you received all that hate mail. I guess they didn't realize that there are so many countries and cultures with so many Christmas traditions, including mythologies about Santa Claus. Some even say the name came from Satan's Claws. I forgot where I heard that from. The Christmas that most people celebrate today is actually a mixture of both pagan and Christian traditions. I have even written in my blog that they even hold hands. Christmas trees come from pagan traditions, and presents come from both.
I read your newsletter about Santa Claus and wasn't offended at all. I enjoyed reading a darker side of Santa Claus. The newsletter is a Horror/Scary newsletter after all, not a Children's newsletter.
This week's newsletter was good too. I like it when the monster is kept in the shadows until the end too. My Horror stories are a little different my supernatural characters walk around in a little town called Deacon, Mississippi. They tend to be inviting, and the humans don't know what hit them until it's too late.
Have a good day!
-Sister of Mercy
LJPC - the tortoise
Comment:
Hi Bill! Thanks for the all-too-true advice on writing horror; when it comes to monsters, they should be your ace in the hole. There are many ways to make a story rigid with suspense, or drip with creepiness without revealing the monster too early.
I must say the most interesting part of the NL were all the negtive comments about your last NL. I can't imagine what got people so riled up! Maybe you'll have to start putting one of those 'use what you like and disregard the rest' disclaimers.
To all the complainers: Did we read the same NL? I found it to be an informative essay, not propaganda. Even if it was propaganda or a rant, that's called 'Freedom of Speech.' Chill out...
 Laura
drjim
Comment:
WOW! Bill, there's just no end to it: people like Isobael running around America on 12/25, gouging their eyes out with rusty spoons aaaand ... somehow finding the 'coal' eyeballs of snowmen they stumble in to ...arrgh! The possibilities are endless - though I realize that since you gave her a whole SHOVEL full of coal, she'd have long run out of coal for her like-minded neighbors, hence the snowmen-missing-eyes stories popping up on telecasts on 12-25 ...to date! After the eyeballs go, uh ...what goes next? Teeth? See no evil, speak no evil ...
Shannon 
Bill,
I LOVE your response to all the hate mail you received for writing your December NL. Wow! I can't believe people would say such things! You're damn right: this IS America, we DO have something called the Bill Of Rights and a little something else called the Constitution, we ARE primarily Christian and we DO say things like "Merry Christmas" on December 25. Just because they don't like it doesn't make it untrue. Why is it okay for everyone else to embrace their traditions but not us? Would you ever move to Iran and expect them to change their way of doing things just for you? Hell no! But that's what some people expect here. Grr! Makes me so stinkin' mad!
The "man on a stick" comment almost made me sick, and the "tripe" comment was ... well, tripe. Uneffingbelieveable!
I commend you for your courage and your unwavering, in your face I-couldn't-give-a-crap-less-whether-you-like-it-or-not beliefs. Yay for you, Bill! Keep writing and standing up for what you believe ... and Merry belated Christmas!!!
-Shannon
Thanks for the support Shannon. But alas, the moaners and groaners do continue on. Now it appears I am heartless for having posted the HATE mail I received through the newsletters 'Ask & Answer' section. Listen people, if you don't want these comments made public, don't send them to the newsletter! You can, and here's a novel idea, send them directly to me and I will keep them private.
billwilcox
*hangs his head like Eeyore*
And here's some more of the same...
mrziggles
Comment:
So according to you, Christianity involves not caring who you offend and giving lumps of coal to people who disagree with you?
Lauriemariepea
Comment:
hi, bill.
i wasn't disappointed by your christmas newsletter, but after reading your unseemly responses to reader comments spurred by same i'm unsubscribing.
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Horror/Scary: February 10, 2010 Issue [#3542]
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