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This week: Edited by: Waltz Invictus  
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"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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If You Have To Explain It...
We've all been there.
Anyone who's ever tried to tell a joke, make fun of something, or be spontaneously witty (it's harder than it looks) - you've been there.
The blank stares. The slightly curled lip. The dreaded "Huh?"
And then you're stuck with the Comedian's Dilemma: Do you show them a picture of a duck, or do you shrug it off and move on, or do you try to explain the joke? (Or is that a trilemma?)
Inevitably, the latter approach... fails.
But you can't just leave your friends hanging, can you? You've just constructed a tower of funny around something that you thought was common knowledge, like the name of Obi-Wan Kenobi's uncle's pet Ewok, or the atomic weight of osmium, or the means by which we were going to pay for the Iraq war, or the reason Hello Kitty is everywhere, but it turns out it's not common knowledge after all...
And for some unfathomable reason, this makes you look like a moron. How dare you assume that everybody knows Fermat's Next-To-Last Theorem?
So then you try to explain it. "Oh, well, it's funny because really, e raised to the power of pi times the unit imaginary number is actually equal to -1, and..."
"[blank stare]"
"[sigh] Nevermind..."
"I don't get it."
And you can't just walk away, either. You've set them up for a joke, and by damn, a joke they will have or they will crack your skull open and eat your brains for Jell-O.
So what's the solution to the Comedian's Dilemma?
Sadly, the only way out is to stoop to a level of comedy that everyone understands:
"I think I can explain it to you if you'll just pull on this finger..."
So all this talk about explaining things reminds me of a joke:
A farmer was sitting in a bar getting drunk. A friend of his came in and asked, "Hey, why are you sitting here, on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"
The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that's so horrible?", the friend asked, hauling his ass up onto a barstool next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "Today, I was sitting by one of my cows, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said his friend, "but that's not so bad."
"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied, then went on: "So I took her left leg and tied it to the post on her left. Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
The friend laughed, "Again?"
The farmer nodded, unsmiling, and replied, "Some things you just can't explain.
"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"So, then what did you do?"
"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
"So there I was, standing up on the milking stool, reaching up to tie ol' Bessie's tail to the rafter with my belt, when my pants fell down and my wife walked in.
"Some things," said the farmer, "you just can't explain." |
Explaining song lyrics:
Explaining the promises we make:
Explaining... um... everything?
Explaining lust:
Explaining obsession (or perhaps not):
Explaining relationships:
Explaining how to put everyday objects to better use:
And finally, explaining my aversion to Hello Kitty:
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (December 16, 2009)" , I kvetched about Sick Season.
SophyBells  wrote: Hey Robert -- try putting an Airborne tablet IN your rum, that might just work! 
Can't hurt, right? 
That's it? That's all?! I slave over a hot stove for minutes carefully copying and pasting a blog entry into the Comedy newsletter, and the only comment I get is from another Comedy Newsletter editor??! (Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the comment, Soph. I just wish I had more.  )
Okay, I guess I have to  bribe y'all to get comments. So here's the bribe: Send in a comment, or submit an item for consideration in my February newsletter, and I'll give the author of my favorite comment 5000 GPs. Not only that, I'll give 2000 GPs for second place and 1000 GPs for third place. That's if I get more than three comments.  One comment per person, must submit comments/items using the form below; void where prohibited, not valid in Tuva Province, yadda yadda.
My next Comedy newsletter is scheduled to come out February 10, just in time for Singles Awareness Day, so if you have nothing to say about this newsletter, then make it about love or loneliness. Either way, make it a good one!
And that's it for me for this month! Until next time,
LAUGH ON!!! |
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Comedy: January 13, 2010 Issue [#3501]
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