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This week: Edited by: shaara
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As one of your Fantasy editors, my goal is to challenge you to think outside the KNOWN and to help you inject your tales with fascinating facts while jagging left and right through troublesome frolics and teethe-writhing dilemmas.
Perhaps we can help each other to safely jog through these twisty turns of radical thought, alternate viewpoint, and dynamic detail. Come! Let’s head down the Path of Dimensions, untextured by any earthly array.
In other words,
let’s drop out of reality for awhile.
Shall we?
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The Darkest Moments of Despair,
Challenge, Irritation, Frustration, and . . . Hope
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Although my articles of late have been philosophical in nature, I recently read a critique of someone else’s FANTASY NEWSLETTER that made me rethink my objectives. The commentator had thanked the editor for writing a HOW TO WRITE newsletter.
In the days that passed, I dwelt on that remark. Yes, The FANTASY NEWSLETTER is about learning to write. It is about being reminded what NOT to do and about improving and working toward becoming more expert. Maybe, just maybe . . .
Frankly, I continued to fidget over this personal debate for several days. Which was more important? What benefitted the readers more -- Philosophical Analysis or. How To Articles?
Finally, my brain erupted. I washed it, dried it, and ironed out some of the wrinkles. When I was finished, The How To Article was the clear winner of my personal debate -- at least for this month.
Thus, for this issue of The FANTASY NEWSLETTER I have stopped analyzing science fiction and fantasy themes in order to write about something we’ve all come to know and
HATE.
You see, the refinement of writing is the hardest part – the editing = the sweat, brow-beating, tongue-pulling, lip-biting, and foot-tapping period of darkness when the piece we’re working on sinks into the abyss of self-doubt.
This part of writing, located just slightly beneath the Plain of Anguish, is the tightrope we must walk across in order to bridge the DIFFERENCE between a delectable 5.0 story -- or somewhere miserably, far, far south of that (2.5! Shudder!).
It is true that most of us can sit down and purge our thoughts. We can babble a tale. We can splice and dice an adventure, invent new animals, and inject drama or comedy. We can WRITE, but we cannot refine.
Such is the dungeon of a writer’s multi-leveled brain chamber. And inside that deep, dark room of desperation and turmoil, at the center most point of this room filled with evil, torturous, and sadistic devices is the following:
Word Choice
Screams, moans, gurgles of horror . . . .
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The dragon piled used bones in a heap.
The dragon piled the recycled bones in a heap.
The dragon piled hand-me-down bones in a heap.
The dragon piled unused bones in a heap.
The dragon piled discarded bones in a heap.
The dragon piled cast-off bones in a heap.
Which word should I use?
And when I finish that, should I say piled or amassed; heaped, mounded, or stacked?
Should I describe the dragon? Is he mottled, dappled, shimmery, scaled, or simply emerald-green?
Does he place all those bones in a heap, mound, mountain, or stack?
And are the bones human bones, lizard bones, cow bones, steer bones, old bones, new bones, bloody bones -- giant, small, or dainty bones?
It’s enough to make a writer go back to bed and pull the covers around and over one’s head!
Word Choice
We ponder. We roll the words around and around in our mouths.
We think about each word’s shade of meaning.
Then we have to choose. (More panicked moans and shaking of head and limbs!)
Which word sets the right tone?
Which word best reflects the idea or concept in your mind?
A poet can spend HOURS debating a SINGLE word.
He listens for the tone of the word, the way it slithers or slinks or wallows in the mud.
He explores the word’s emotional connotations.
How does it make him feel?
How does the word blend with his idea, with the point he’s trying to make?
Word choice is the MOST important part of writing, yet many of us spend so little time measuring the fiber count of our words.
Does the word detract, distract, or delight?
And we must take into consideration the following:
* One’s vocabulary can reflect the fashion of a moment. A word can paint a piece’s age.
I dialed the number.
His face was a 45-record with grooves from each year.
(These are out-dated – unloved.)
* A word can have deep, historical meanings that one doesn’t want in a given context.
She beamed him.
Is this a la “Star Trek?”
OR
Is she having a violent episode with a baseball bat?.
* Words can have multiple meanings.
The woman was cold.
Is she frigid or just shivering?
* Sometimes a word can show a writer’s familiarity with a subject that may leave his readers baffled.
His eyes were like a solenoid switch gone bad.
* Sometimes a word is formal; while others are informal.
Yep. Yeah. Yes.
* Some words sound funny – almost laughable. We wouldn’t want to use them if our tone for a piece is considered to be deep and serious.
The senator complained, “My tummy hurts.”
* Word choice revolves around the action taking place
and the details you want to give.
The old guy slipped on a banana peel.
The elderly gentleman skidded on the banana peel.
The man slid across the floor, riding the banana peel as if he were wearing skates.
* Word choice usually means that you’re providing the reader with sensory details.
A good writer takes one into the moment so vividly that the reader can close his eyes, inhale the scent,and sometimes even feel the heavy gusts of wind on his back.
Our fingers touch.
We hear sounds.
We feel vibrations through our feet.
We taste, smell, and know we’ve been transplanted in time and place.
* Word choice often goes beyond having a good thesaurus, dictionary, or the synonyms found on Word . Although putting life into the verb is a writer's main thrust, sometimes even that isn't enough to enliven a sentence, paragraph, story, or novel:
The alien’s ship alit on the planet.
The alien’s ship landed on the planet.
The alien’s ship crashed on the planet.
The alien’s ship dived down onto the planet.
The alien’s ship settled down on the planet.
The alien’s ship came to rest on the planet.
We need more!
* To blow in freshness to a scene, one needs to supplement synonyms with whole new images.
The alien landed like a steam-engine crashing into a concrete wall.
or
The alien’s arrival discharged spumes of gaseous flame that seared the bottom levels of every building, turning painted wood into something that looked exactly like oozing-red, blistered skin.
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Ah, word choice -- hours and hours of work but well-worth the diligence!
Anyway, that’s the end of this month’s edition of The FANTASY NEWSLETTER
I hope my words help you to ponder your word choices and to rethink how much time you take for the original outpouring versus that finished edition.
To further your thoughts on this process, I recommend the following article.
It offers excellent information about word choice, provides some useful examples of clichés to avoid, and covers several other aspects of the subject that I didn’t mention -- such as being too wordy or using awkward word choices.
It also discusses the danger of repetitious wording:
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/word_choice.html
Enjoy,write, ponder, and edit. (And keep those enchanting fantasy creatures/aliens hopping, flittering, charging, or zapping about.
P.S. Please don't forget to review down below. I hold my breath until I hear your thoughts. You don't want me to turn blue in front of my second graders do you?
Input, input, input! Please.
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Feedback on my MAY FANTASY NEWSLETTER: Evil vs. Good
Futrboy 
Excellent subject, one that got me intrigued. What if the evil does not readily present itself? Do we label something evil just to have it?
For instance, in Isaac Asimov's classic "Nightfall," a planet faces doom due to gravitational forces beyond its control. Is nature then evil?
I've written a well-received story ("One Last Look") in which the enemy is an honest mistake. Since we all make mistakes, who's to say that evil had anything to do with it?
I know evil can come in many different forms, but I'd like to know what others readers and writers think about the idea. Is it really necessary to always have clearly-defined evil?
That’s always a good question, one we really need to probe when writing. My opinion is that Mother Nature can often be the “evil.” That would be true in a story about fire, famine, pestilence, or even in the case of a planet-wide calamity such as the day Mercury comes knocking into Earth (luckily not for a long, long time!)
As to your story, One Last Look, isn’t your “evil” found in the ignorance or prejudice of your characters? If the enemy is not really an enemy but is only perceived to be, then . . .
Futrboy
To expound upon the last comment from myself, I think it might be safer to say that plots must have conflict. Conflict is anything that opposes us, hinders us and stands in our way. It can be as blatant as Nazism or Al Queda or as subtle as weeds slowly choking out beneficial food plants.
There must be something for the protagonist (and antagonist) to try to overcome. Ugliness, a serial killer, violent tornados, giant squids, Big Brother, threats to endangered species, corruption, etc.
Perhaps it is conflict that all stories must have (whether inner or outer).
And later: Glad I could be of help. I realize that not all stories even need conflict, but we both know that the good ones do. Who wants to read a bland story where everything is peachy keen and rosy?
I agree with you! A story is just impossible without some kind of conflict. Thus EVIL raises its ugly head.
But how happy I am when EVIL gets spanked and goes back to its corner to sulk. I hate unresolved stories, even if we all know that such battles are only temporary. EVIL may not truly win in such stories, but, at least temporarily, it is ousted from the tale and sent packing.
ezseeker
I think that the groundwork leading up to the poll was superb, both as to content and as to presentation. I found it very interesting and informative. It captured my interest so much that I was slightly disappointed when I got to the poll itself, as I would have liked to have seen a choice where a combination of good and evil could be found in both the protagonist and his/her opponent. You very aptly described such a combination when you spoke of the evil that Eve brought, and the benefits that were and are brought by Mother Nature.
When I cipher in the preamble to the poll, I have to give the over-all poll a 4.5. I would have graded the poll alone a slightly lower mark, and the preamble to poll as slightly higher.
All in all, I found the presentation leading up to and including the poll to be informative, thought provoking and personally helpful to me.
I appreciate the opportunity you offered for one to see some of the components of a good story.
Later he added: I think that any criticism I may have offered to be a result of my own short-comings, and not short-comings of the poll.
I am always interested in both negative and positive comments. Yes, I think you are correct, the poll would have been better if I’d included a combination of both good and evil as protagonist and opponent. That’s how I learn! Thanks for the comments. You were sweet to have added the second, but as the Australians say, “No worries!” I love that expression. Can an American use it too? (Please???)
Tadpole1 
Dear: Shaara,
I thoroughly enjoyed your post. Thank you very much.
This line was exquisite: “We rub our heads gently, watching the dandruff fly off in the breeze.” I enjoyed it so much, that I had to read it to my husband who laughed as well!
Happy thoughts!
P. S. I really like your handle. Great dragons!
Thank you, thank you. You made my day. (Note: That word image was not collected from real experience. I do NOT have dandruff!) I am so thrilled that I made your husband laugh. What a nice thing to hear!
Fantasy Mom
This was an interesting poll and article. Thanx!
I’m so glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting.
okghost
I really loved this weeks newsletter. You picked out a lot of great stories.
I try; I try. Sometimes it is super easy. Writing.com has some great authors! Thanks for your comments.
Doctor To
Good picks in this newsletter -- I have enjoyed several already. I definitely concur that you need to check out "Let the Right One In." (I'd love to get your opinion on what the main evil in that story).
If you get a chance, I'd love for you to take a look at my own play on evil in my short story "Good Digging." http://Writing.Com/authors/joesaundercook
Thanks for the great picks!
Joe
I look forward to having some time off to browse the aisles of Writing.com. I have been so immersed in correcting papers and tests, filling out report cards, and conferencing that I have squinty eyes and prune lips! LOL One more week to go . . .
Ladyoz
One excellent series of books I read many years ago is the Time Master Trilogy by Louise Cooper ("The Initiate", "The Outcast" and "The Master".) Evil wins in the end
Evil wins? Oh, no! I’m not sure I could stand for that. I must read those books! I’ve got to see to believe.
Shayla Luna
Thank you for this! You've answered questions that I didn't even know were bothering me. This was the first newsletter of yours that I have read and I am hooked!
Oh, dear! This FANTASY NEWSLETTER is not philosophical. I hope it doesn’t disappoint. I’ve decided to bounce back and forth between instructional and my normal analytical self-debates. I hope that’s okay with everyone!
Ertia Blan 
Impossible to not have a villain? Take a look at the Golden Compass, for example. Sure, there are some people against the main character, but there is no such thing as a villain! In real life, in war, each side thinks the other side is the villain. Nobody's evil. There is no such thing as evil, in real life and in books. The best books have no distinct antagonist. I would hate to have one of my books be completely clear about good and evil. That said, there's no such thing as good. Fatal flaws? More than that. Everyone has their own few habits or characteristics that make them a mix of good and bad. Nothing is impossible. Ever.
Oh, you’re so right. We have to humanize our characters, giving them good and bad characteristics, but we still need a distinction at some point or we won’t know for whom to cheer.
As to the “Golden Compass,” I have the movie and am eagerly awaiting the time to watch it. I only bought it (for $1) because I heard a radio interview on the way to work. Two very angry people were being interviewed about the controversy surrounding the writer’s intent. One claimed the movie is anti-religion; the other said it was merely a good fantasy. Both folks were hotter than the workers in a disturbed beehive. I can’t really comment on the movie until I see it, but due to the anger of the two buzzing bees, I really look forward to sitting down and giving it a go.
I’ll get back to you next month about the movie.
As to no evil in the world? I wish I still believed that. I really do. Perhaps it is true that the ones we perceive as evil are mentally ill. That is a possibility. However, either way, EVIL rains from their deeds.
nebroc
I enjoyed your newsletter on Good Vs Evil, though you said this in your newsletter: "I can’t let that one go so easily I bet the truth is that Adam would have eaten the apple even if Eve hadn’t been there to take all the blame.", not saying I disagree, just this is how I saw it: Adam was created first, and so he had more knowledge and understanding at the time when they both ate the fruit. Eve knew it was wrong, however Adam knew even more so. Eve took the fruit first, but then she showed Adam, who knew what it meant for her - he knew she would now grow old and die - and he loved her very much, and didn't see how he would be able to live without her, and so he took it as well. This may be a touching love story, but it was also selfish on Adam’s part, because it also meant that any children he would have would also eventually grow old and die, so in the end, although they are both to blame, Adam knew better, and therefore is more to blame.
I’ve never heard of your version before. It is an interesting idea. I think you and I could have some very stimulating discussions over it, but I usually try to avoid discussing religion much. It becomes too “hot.” Anyway, thank you for your comments. Truly intriguing!
Trisha
All stories boil down to a struggle between good & evil. While we usually think of this in the external world-a company commits fraud against investors-this is also something we struggle with internally. (To fib or not to fib. To take the last piece of pie you promised your spouse he could have or not.) Whether it’s intentional or not, conflict is a form of a good vs a form of an evil. How much or little depends on the story.
I must add that many people misinterpret the story of Adam & Eve b/c they base it in tradition and not on what the text actually says. In Genesis 3 God holds both Eve and Adam responsible for what they individually did. Eve is not blamed more than Adam. In fact, the brunt of it goes to Adam b/c it's through him that sin and death are passed down (Romans 5:12-21). This story was later twisted as a way to justify male domination. As for Eve, even after all this, she is honored with the title "mother of all the living". Women are not destroyers, but life-givers.
What fascinating comments you made. Thank you for the reminder to go to the source. (Of course, which source is always a matter of personal choice. I went on-line to view a Bible passage one day and found six different translations, each one changing the tone and the meaning!)
I loved the way you said, “It was twisted as a way to justify male domination.” (Hand immediately presses mouth closed to prevent further comments on subject.)
Rain Storm
Great newsletter on Evil. I had to reflect back on my own stories and determine if my Evil entities are some creature (human or otherwise), or some inanimate entity like 'time' or 'grief'. I think I tend to do both, but definitely more of the inanimate objects. I think I have a hard time truly getting inside the mind of an abhorrently evil person. I should play with a lovable evil character and see if I like that better
Lovable evil? I would think that impossible, but it is not. It seems to be in vogue. I have heard that the most famous of the serial killers have hundreds of women offering marriage. I agree true EVIL is hard to understand.
sarahreed
Another option for your poll is that the EVIL of the story is within the main character(s). I'm often fascinated by the concept of conquering the EVIL within as it is a daily struggle we all face. Though many of the struggles we face, we may not label as EVIL, but more like temptations or things we know are wrong. These obstacles/challenges to our moral fiber are what make us stronger or tear us down. The same can happen to a main character we write about. Rather than have the EVIL of the story come from without, it comes from within. Of course, EVIL comes in varying strengths, much like GOOD. Also, EVIL and GOOD are defined by the rules of the world. What is EVIL in one world could very well be GOOD in another, but it all comes down to how it compares to the real world, as this is the basis for the readers' judgments. Oh, sorry, got a little philosophical there.
You are riding on the horse next to mine. This is exactly the issue I dally with in my writings. How would EVIL translate to an alien? How would GOOD differ! I love your comments. Thank you!
Ieshwar
"If the Yin and Yang switch back and forth erratically, we are at first confused." I LIKE this! Would be nice to write such a story and see what the readers think about it. :D Blurring the lines between good and evil is cool too. Thanks for the newsletter. :)
Perhaps we do write this story many times. Take the simple tale of Romeo and Juliet. Is it sin to go against one's parental wishes? Is it evil to cleave to the enemy, turning one’s back to customs, beliefs, and traditions? Treading the water between the banks gets poor Juliet and Romeo more than wet; they drown in the turbulence of their Yin and Yang.
c.t.moon
I'll be honest with you, I had a hard time picking an option here. In the end I picked the last one, although that isn't quite what describes my opinion.
When I write, I like to make evil as ordinary as I can, and I prefer to, if it is in fact a person, let him/her have both their bad points and redeeming qualities. I believe it's the redeeming qualities that give the best motives. Say, for example, the bad guy wanted to take over the world and bend each and every citizen who opposed him to his laws.
Now why would he do that? Greed? Fear? Or maybe he isn't the stereotypical bad guy, maybe he has a family he wants to keep safe, but the way in which he wants to do so has been twisted into world domination.
Maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I do prefer to make my villains human. Not that it isn't fun to write someone who is evil just for the sake of it, of course.
Interesting poll, by the way. CT
Of course we want to make our villains human. (Well, at least humanized if they’re actually fantasy beings or aliens.) Still, there are those situations where we don’t understand the reasons for horrible events and never will. Why does a tornado set down on top of one person’s house and not another’s? Why does a good guy die from cancer? But we do love to push for comprehension. It is mankind's NATURE to try to understand why things happen. Thanks for the comments!
APRIL feedback on Vampires
Georgianna Lyn d'Juracetys
Shaara-- I am glad that my question made the gears and cogs whirl in yours, and it appears, many other minds. I find it fascinating that the vampire always seems to be portrayed as the good looking almost tortured soul-- Look at Anne Rice's Lestat and Stephanie Meyers Cullen’s males. Why aren't any of those that are turned the fat, beer drinking, hairy backed, farting uncouth characters? I know the very first few minutes of the series True Blood actually has a Vamp that does kind of look like that kind of hick. The scene is funnier than all get out for those who have never seen it. I'd love to see a vampire comedian, would anyone else?
Once again you have sent desire running through my veins. Oh, to have the time to write a quick story about a hick Vamp. How droll! A vampire comedian, yes, yes! I’m panting – but I still have report cards to do. Sigh.
How about you others? Write, write, write. The world needs these characters. Georgianna Lyn d'Juracetys has inspired again!
Until next time --
May the suns of your FANTASY Universe rise to grow new worlds,
and may each new reality blossom inside the words you write.
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P.S. Please, please review. I'd love to put YOUR comments into my next FANTASY NEWSLETTER.
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Fantasy: June 17, 2009 Issue [#3108]
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