  Short Stories
This week: Sense and Sensibility Set the Scene Edited by: KimChi  
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Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---
Success in Cirrcuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind---
--- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
Today's readers want to be teased and titillated, "dazzled gradually", yet experience the full range of human sensations. This newsletter holds a few ideas which may help you fulfill their expectations. |
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Sense and Sensibility
(Setting the Scene for the Modern Reader)
Once upon a time, when Queen Victoria ruled Britain and beyond, setting was considered another character. Readers cherished each leaf pirouetting to the ground outside the study window. They were wont to sit through pages of elaborate description of the contents of the writing desk, to inspect each feathered plume as a monument to the past, to hold each scrap of paper to the fading light to see into the inner life of a character.
But that was then.
Now, we lead busy lives. As readers, we want it all and we want it now-setting, mood, character, and conflict integrated into the plot. Unfortunately, most of us will not read a story loaded down with description.
As writers, we expect readers to pull from their own experiences or their knowledge of history to understand the setting. We don't have to explain where a steering wheel is located or what a hospital looks like. In that respect, our new way of reading and writing is a good thing. Imagination is still an important ingredient in the reader-writer relationship.
So feel free to describe the leaf, if it sets the mood or gets us inside the character's head, but keep the plot moving forward and the tension hopping. It's probably not a good idea to empty out the writing desk-unless you are emulating the style of Charlotte Bronte rather than Danielle Steele.
In researching this newsletter, I found very little information on setting. It seems setting is like air-we don't pay much attention to it until we're grasping for a straw to breathe through. But setting should not be an afterthought. It is more than scenery and time; it is the backdrop against which the story takes place. This background holds not only what you show the reader, but also a heap of implied information. It would take five years to discuss every aspect, but each of these categories impacts the setting. Consider how you can use them in your next story.
 location
time of day
time period
historical and political events
class, education, and social status
technology, transportation, and communication
ethnicity and religion
geography and weather
styles and popular culture
Far from the Madding Crowd
How do we anchor the story in a time and place? The most common way is to describe the surroundings.
He walked into the ballroom. A hundred chandeliers hung over the couples-the men in black tuxedos, the women in white gowns. Each table gleamed with gold place settings and fresh flowers. In unison with the crowd, he raised his champagne flute. "Merry Christmas!"
Looking at a scene from afar shows the "big picture". Many times a "bird's eye view" is useful for historical settings, describing geography, showing the size of a group, and/or contrasting two items. The drawback is that it takes time to paint the scene. In a short story with a word limit, you may wish to use it sparingly.
You can always zoom in for a closer perspective. Instead of showing every part of the setting, give the reader a few vibrant details and allow him to fill in the remainder. Your job is to pick the few slices of the scene that will have the most impact.
We can convey much of the same information as the previous example without describing the architecture, people, or tablescapes.
He raised his champagne flute. The light of a hundred chandeliers shot through the cut crystal, blinding him. "Merry Christmas!"
This tells the reader that the setting is a fancy party, probably in a ballroom or a mansion, where someone is giving a toast. We can assume that people are dressed in formal attire. The word "blinding" hints that the man may be out of his element. A few carefully chosen details will tell the reader everything he needs to know, while allowing him to infer the remainder. This allows you, the writer, to get on with the important part of the story-the plot. This technique is especially useful for a short, character-driven story.
To get the right effect, the audience must be able to fill in the gaps, which may mean sharing your culture. It might work for a hospital, car, or ballroom, but it probably won't work for a Balinese ritual unless you paint the big picture beforehand.
Which is the right way? It depends on my goal. If I'm making a statement about high society, the first example would be better. If the man is about to rob the party-goers, either would work. If he's about to propose, the second example is more useful. Choosing the right perspective for a scene will keep your plot and theme on track.
 Zoom exercise:
Write down ten to twenty words associated with your setting. Pick only two or three, and weave them together so the remaining associations are implied. Place this description near the beginning of the story to set the scene. Drop a few of the remaining details into each paragraph, interspersed with dialogue and action. Spacing the description teases us into reading further, without boring us with unnecessary detail.
First Impressions
| Original name for Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, 1813 |
When taking a test, the adage, "you're first impression is usually correct" is a good guide. When writing a story, go beyond the first thing that comes to your mind-it's probably similar to other writers' first impressions. The goal of a good short story is not to have the "right" answer, but to show a scene with your unique style.
When we remove the most common aspect of a description, we are forced to rely on the other senses to fill in the gaps. Many times frustration leads to creativity, or as they say: "Necessity is the mother of invention."
For example, when I think of a service station, I immediately smell that unique mixture of oil and gas that saturates the air. If I ignore that idea, I find others. The cold, utilitarian effect of huge tiles on the floor and hanging hubcaps gives me the impression of a macabre hospital for cars; the crinkled, grease-smudged edges of the paperwork reminds me of my well-used cookbook; the rat-a-tat-tat and whine of the air gun sounds like a heavy metal symphony.
Explore the second and third impressions and you may find the description grows more nuanced. I might end up only writing about the smell, but now I have other comparisons in case I need to return to the scene. One day, I might reverse the descriptions and compare a concert or kitchen to a service station. Even if I only use one word from my exercise in sensations, the scene grows fuller.
Senses exercise:
Remove the one sense predominantly associated with your scene and jot down other ideas that come to mind. A few items you could use to warm up the old noggin:
 Describe without the sense of smell: a cup of coffee, a bouquet of flowers, preparing a meal.
 Describe without mentioning the color: a rainbow, a person's eyes or hair, a painting.
 Describe without the sense of sound: a symphony, a group of birds, a party.
When we move our character through the scene, allowing her to touch, smell, and see the details of the setting, our readers also experience these sensations-they become the character.
Beyond the five senses lies the intangible sense-emotion. In Austen's time, "sensibility" was a moral outlook, having a connotation closer to the adjective "sensitive" than "sensible". The idea remains today in the phrase: "I wouldn't want to offend your delicate sensibilities." Sensibility meant paying attention to your emotions, putting yourself in someone's shoes, having a little sympathy for their plight.
While modern culture puts more emphasis on logic, modern writing still makes use of emotion. In order to see through the character's eyes, we must know what is in her head at that moment in time. What she's thinking and feeling colors how she sees the world. This applies to any point of view-even an omniscient narrator lends flavor to a scene. Apply the five senses to the character's outlook, or sensibilities, to give depth and feeling to the setting.
You could paint a gorgeous sunset at the beach, including the squawk of seagulls freewheeling in the sky and a warm salt breeze caressing the character's face. But this would be awkward if the character is in mourning. Chances are, the same setting that creates a relaxing vacation under normal circumstances would make her nostalgic for better times. She might not even notice the seagulls, or their cries might grate on her nerves.
Even if you cannot directly express her inner thoughts, your choice of words will paint a picture of grief. The seagull need not merely squawk. You could use the verbs cry, keen, wail, or howl, or describe its song as a dirge, requiem, or lamentation-depending on how melodramatic you want to be. Keep in mind-the character's perception of her surroundings is a mirror of her internal landscape. Viewing the setting through the character's emotions creates instant mood.
Sensibility Exercise:
Write a brief description of how these settings might look depending upon the person's perception of the scene.
 How would a car accident look to someone who has been in one recently?
How would a busy diner look to a woman if it were where her husband proposed? How would that change if she were going through a divorce?
How would the inside of a church look to an atheist? A woman considering joining a convent? A man who's just lost his child?
In the Victorian era, the reader expected long passages of description and a heavy-handed moral theme. Today, we like mysteries and puzzles. We'd rather figure out the theme for ourselves and fill in the missing details of a familiar setting.
At the risk of repeating myself, "it's all about the layers." In essence, this means you are setting the scene and mood, describing the character, and providing conflict at the same time. I won't lie and say it is easy, but adding depth to a story is always worth the effort. Modern readers expect characterization displayed through action, and emotion shown through sensation. Layering elements helps advance the plot; it allows reader involvement, and it makes for a smoother and more realistic read.
Now go out and make your settings sensational! 
(Note: Each subheading is the name of a famous Victorian novel, all of them, in my opinion, worthy of a read. Please let me know if any of these exercises spark a story; I'll feature them in the next newsletter.) |
These stories take us all over the world, from Baltimore to Bangkok. Enjoy, and please drop the author a line with praise and/or constructive criticism.
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Excerpt: The skyline of Dublin is a mishmash of chrome towers and old pan tiles, blackened by coal and peat smoke. Here and there broken roof trusses lie open to the sky, like the bones of a dead whale, waiting the wrecking ball of redevelopment.
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Excerpt: At least I had plenty to do during the day. The New Year festival was gearing up, and decorations lined the streets. Everywhere I went, I saw shrines to various holy figures, including Buddhas with offerings of flowers, incense, gold chains and garlands set before them and draped over them. If nothing else, I ate well.
Excerpt: As he neared the Aquarium, Dario looked across the Inner Harbor where seagulls soared over the USS Constitution. The smell of the Patapsco River, a rich blend of seaweed and fish, mixed with diesel exhaust. And urine, he noted as he pass a wet spot on a building wall.
Excerpt: The hot summer day began to the steadily rising whine of the mill siren; it sounded for the first shift at six o'clock. The sound of faint bells and chanting reiterated that it was time to get up; the daily morning-prayer routine was almost over.
Excerpt: My entire body was submerged in a pit of mud as I lay amongst what had once been green pastures, now beaten to mire by the continuous trudging of soldiers, attacking and retreating, running and dying - a land scarred by death and chaos. Only my face protruded, camouflaged by dry mud and the limbs of surrounding corpses.
The results of this poll didn't surprise me. I know I'm preaching to the choir.
Have a fabulous short story to show off, or want to read some fine writing? This is the place. |
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From October's newsletter: The three horses on the carousel were symbolic of the three aspects of symbolism-universal, cultural, and personal.
This month's questions: What technique or aspect of a setting brings it to life? What sense do you feel is underutilized in short stories? Which one is used too frequently?
Thanks to everyone who responded to the issue on symbolism. I appreciate the feedback. Feel free to suggest a topic, send a link to your story, or tell me what I got right or wrong.
nomlet 
I used to get annoyed in High School literature class when the teacher would talk about symbolism. It seemed to me that if the author wanted to talk about a subject he would come out and discuss it explicitly. Digging for symbolism was trying to read too much into things. Now I know better.
lkokko
Your newsletter has given me something new to think about. I really had not thought much about symbolism in writing, but the more I thought about what you wrote, the more I realized it is an important part the story. Thanks for the enlightenment.
Coolhand
Your newsletter on symbolism was packed full of interesting information and tons of helpful references. Definitely a keeper! Thanks for including my story.
larryp
Very impressive Kimchi. A great newsletter. Well done!
Larry
Jaye P. Marshall 
Another great newsletter! The cultural symbolism always gets me. Guess I'm concerned about offending people.
Thank you for putting in my story.
Lynn McKenzie
Hey Kimchi! Wonderful newsletter. I adore that D.H. Lawrence story. So different from everything else he wrote.
Thanks for mentioning my story, even if its rating was too high for a link. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Calypso
As I am new to Writing.Com I love Newsletters, & learn from them. As an English major I break rules, it is part of being creative. I enjoyed the letter on symbolism. My problem is dyslexia so I appreciate feedback I often don't catch my errors.
billwilcox
What a comprehensive newstter Kim. Write On!
spidey 
An excellent newsletter with tons of useful information! Thanks! 
SmokeyMtn
Thanks for an informative and really helpful newsletter.
Maria Mize 
It's so odd that you chose THE ROCKING HORSE WINNER as your theme short story for this newsletter. My daughter is taking a writing class in college and just had to write a commentary on this very short story. I found the story very compelling and unusual and had never read it until I read it in conjunction with reviewing my daughter's paper. =)
NanoWriMo2018 Into the Earth
Excellent newsletter, well organized and easy to read and follow. chalk filled with top-notch advice!
When I talk with you again, we will have said goodbye to 2008, and rung in 2009. Have a safe and joyous winter season, whatever you celebrate. As you gather with friends and family, grab a few unusual details to use in your next setting or story.
Enjoy the laughter, peace, and community of the Holy Days--and if Santa doesn't, I hope the New Year brings all your heart desires.
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Short Stories: December 03, 2008 Issue [#2752]
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