\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/2641-.html
Comedy: October 01, 2008 Issue [#2641]

Newsletter Header
Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: The Milkman Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Life on the road can be one laugh after another... as lng as you learn to talk with yourself.


Word from our sponsor

ASIN: 0995498113
Amazon's Price: $ 19.95


Letter from the editor



Now that you are on the road a majority of the time what things do you wish
were invented to help benefit your lifestyle?

The Idiot Driver Indicator Laser:
You are in the inside or slow lane on the interstate, you look to your mirrors and discover that you are boxed in by a line of cars on your left. You can't do the proper thing and move over a lane so you try and do the nice thing by slowing down and letting the merging car to go ahead of you. Lo and behold this wonderful thing behind the wheel decides to be nice back and slow down to match your speed. Seeing their brake lights you decide to speed up to take the space they don't want. They see you accelerate and they think you, the 70' vehicle, wants to play chicken and they speed up as well. You get frustrated and you step harder on the accelerator to make the motorist hopefully make the right decision and adjust to you taking the space, which they don't... they step harder on the gas pedal and shoot out in front of you...

With my new invention you can get even with them with just a push of a button. The Idiot Driver Indicator Laser will etch a sign into the rear of their vehicle that reads, "I'm an Idiot behind the wheel!" There is no amount of bodywork, save for replacement, that take this sign off of the vehicle.


The Architect:
You've just spent several hours on the road when you come to your delivery point and notice that you have a severe challenge on your hands... fitting your 70' vehicle in a spot that was made for shorter vehicles. Instead of idle threats of stringing the designers of this building up by the fingernails of their drawing hands, you push another button on your dash and wait as the building, parking lot or loading dock redesigns and rebuilds itself (at the expense and the bewilderment of the company). If it weren't for states like New Jersey and Mass. this invention wouldn't be needed.

The Traffic Sign Editor:
You would think that this device wouldn't be necessary with all of the people who speak, read and write the English language using our roads, hi-ways, bi-ways and interstates. Many of these road signs are standard worldwide, so these are already perfected, but it is signs like the ones I see alongside a Mass. Highway... “No Litter/ 50$ fine” (I'd hate to see the fine for actually littering). Or the sign in a rural PA town, “No parking during emergency vehicles towed” (How often do you see an emergency vehicle being towed?) Then you have the flashing arrows that accompany the yellow diamonds that bring your attention to a lane closure. Ohio is definitely in need of my Traffic Sign Editor because I'm always being told that a lane is closed when the flashing arrow is directing me to it.

These are just three inventions that I can think of, but I'm sure that you can think of a few more and I would love to see your ideas. Use the space provided below to leave your comments for this newsletter and your ideas for new road devices...





Editor's Picks

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#933883 by Not Available.

 Oh, To Be Lazy Open in new Window. (13+)
The secret is, Alayna's lazy.
#126832 by Ms Kimmie Author IconMail Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#940371 by Not Available.

 The Milk Order Open in new Window. (E)
The Milkman's Biggest Sale Ever
#1476662 by Philip Livingston Author IconMail Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1474851 by Not Available.

 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
         https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Don't forget to support our sponsor!

ASIN: B083RZ2C5F
Product Type:
Amazon's Price: Price N/A
Not currently available.


Ask & Answer

I look forward to seeing you on the road...

*Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet* Don't Be Shy! Write Into This Newsletter! *Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet*

This form allows you to submit an item on Writing.Com and feedback, comments or questions to the Writing.Com Newsletter Editors. In some cases, due to the volume of submissions we receive, please understand that all feedback and submissions may not be responded to or listed in a newsletter. Thank you, in advance, for any feedback you can provide!
Writing.Com Item ID To Highlight (Optional):

Send a comment or question to the editor!
Limited to 2,500 characters.
Word from our sponsor
ASIN: B083RZJVJ8
Product Type:
Amazon's Price: Price N/A
Not currently available.

Removal Instructions

To stop receiving this newsletter, click here for your newsletter subscription list. Simply uncheck the box next to any newsletter(s) you wish to cancel and then click to "Submit Changes". You can edit your subscriptions at any time.


Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/2641-.html