  Horror/Scary
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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He ran hard, sending puffs of sugary sand out behind him. He could hear the grinding, rock-throated roar of the incoming waves as they lost their balance and sprawled their way up the lower beach. The sand glistened like wet tanned skin, as the next wave, glassy green on the bottom and the curdled white of soapsuds on top, broke upon the beach beneath the indifferent blue sky.
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| ASIN: B01FST8A90 |
Product Type: Toys & Games
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Amazon's Price: $ 24.95
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Descriptions
I love descriptions. I love how words can put the reader so deep into the story that they see, feel, smell, and hear everything that is happening to the characters. It's not just the plot that carries them along. Hell, a poor plot can be so well written that it can deceive most readers into thinking they just read the best story of their life.
Descriptions.
It's all about how you describe something that makes the reader relate to everything else that is written.
Can you over describe something? Yes. Can your descriptions be so cliche that they turn your reader off? Yes again!
So, how do you do it? How do you describe something?
It takes work (and a lot of reading). Practice. Practice. Practice. Stretch for a fresh perspective. Play with metaphors. Connect descriptive words with visuals that set the mood. A good excercise is to crack open a thesaurus and make a list of synonyms for your descriptive word. But don't stop there! Brainstorm several visual connections by putting images with them. You'll find plenty of word pictures that haven't been done to death.
Here's a couple of good examples from Stephen King:
It was a Motel 6 on I-80 just west of Lincoln, Nebraska. The snow that began at midafternoon had faded the sign's virulent yellow to a kinder pastel shade as the light ran out of the January dusk. The wind was closing in on that quality of empty amplification one encounters only in the country's flat midsection.
That's good stuff! It's fresh and new and gives a feel for the story.
Here's another:
There were secret streets that led to the abandoned hobo jungle near the railroad depot on Neibolt Street, where one could sometimes find tomato soup cans half-full of mulligatawny stew and bottles with a swallow or two of beer left in them; there was the alley behind the Aladdin Theater, where Bull Durham cigarettes were smoked and Black Cat firecrackers sometimes set off; there was the big old elm which overhung the river, where scores of boys and girls had learned to dive; there were the hundred tangled trails winding through the Barrens, an overgrown valley which slashed through the center of town like a badly healed scar.
Descriptions of landscape provide great oppurtunity for double duty. They set the scene and add to the atmosphere and tone of the story. Flat descriptions do neither. Here are few landscape cliches to avoid at all costs:
*It was a dark and stormy night
*fog as thick as pea soup
*windswept prairies
*pounding surf
*stars like diamonds
*jagged peaks
*raging (rushing) rivers
*babbling brooks
*blankets of snow
*cities that bustle with activity
*shimmering lakes
*water as smooth as glass
Dive deep into writing. Describe everything as if you were standing right there at that moment. Because if you do . . . you're reader will be standing there too.
Until next time,
billwilcox
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OH, THE HORROR
[Excerpt] The “card” table was over a thousand years old. Etched in the centre was a pentagram within a double circle. Around its circumference were the letters of the Latin alphabet. Coming out of each corner were a set of runes. It was, in itself, a beautiful work of art.
[Excerpt] He twisted to a sprinter’s pose and took off. She flew, her hair unravelling and trailing in the wind. With one hand on the back of his neck, she stopped him. With two blows, she broke his arms. Then, she turned him around, bit into a dangling arm, and drank.
| |  | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1265275 by Not Available. |
[Excerpt] Bruce pushed play on the sound system remote and the CD whirred in the machine, making clicking and gurgling sounds while the eye tried to read it. Barely audible voices hissed through the speakers, it sounded like an old vinyl record crackling under the needle of a phonograph. Bruce turned up the volume. They were merely whispers, snickering, plotting something it sounded like. He leaned close to one of the speakers, nearly pressing his ear against it, trying to understand what the voices were saying, what they were discussing.
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1293240 by Not Available. |
[Excerpt] You will care once you know what's going on, so shut up and listen to me. I will not tolerate too many more interruptions from you and I'm the only person who can make all this clear to you. Without me, what you see inside there will only freak you out. I can't have that around here.
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#652503 by Not Available. |
[Excerpt] "So I'm digging an' clawing at this triple-O door. I dunno if there's anybody in there or not. I open my mouth to scream, but nothin' comes out. I hear the creature growl. It starts like a deep throaty-kinda rumblin' an' gets louder an' higher 'till it's like a... howl!"
| | | Invalid Item
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#1266509 by Not Available. |
[Excerpt] Mason didn’t know what he would’ve done if Elmer had left him there. He didn’t have the guts to pull this off all on his own. He didn’t have the brains, either. That scared him. There was so much he wanted to do, so many things he felt the need to prove to himself and to others, but he couldn’t. He was scared. Cowardly. Elmer made him strong. Elmer could do everything he couldn’t. Because of this, he needed Elmer more than words could’ve ever described.
| |  | The Map (13+)
(Horror fiction) Narrator follows a hideous map of the stars only to discover horror.
#1018895 by Thomas Eding  |
[Excerpt] Within the arrangement of the stars, I inherently saw the route they displayed in correlation to the slate that was now very clear to me. I knew then that it was some type of map that used the heavens as a basis for its destination.
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1003179 by Not Available. |
[Excerpt] Tony and Martha get up and looks out the broken window. They see the car in the middle of the street, with the two dead bodies inside. Two dead girls lay in the street, with two young boys dead on the grass. The Peterson's and Mr. Baxter across the street, dead. And the strange man who came so close, lays on their front lawn, only a few yards from the house.
[Excerpt] He said all that, and spit half of it in my face too. I wanted to hurt him right then and there--hurt him bad. Cletus Brooks was the most obnoxious man I had ever met. I hated him enough to kill him. And at that very moment, I wanted to jump across the table, drive a knee into his gut, and screw both hands around his scrawny neck.
Something New...
[Excerpt] The wheat stood waist high, and as she plowed through it, the hissing stalks slapped and bit at her bare legs as if the dark ground beneath her feet seethed with snakes. The strange girl rushed ahead of her, and as Sarah tried to keep up, she found her thin legs tiring even as the other seemed to float effortlessly through the field.
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FEEDBACK FRENZY
zwisis
Submitted Comment:
Excellent newsletter as always, Bill. I admit to finding quite a lot more flash fiction on the site. While it's not something that really appeals to me I do think it has a place in writing. I've read quite a bit of flash fiction that would actually make a great short story. It's like blogging - I've read excellent blog entries that would be far better as a short story or a personal memoir.
It's certainly effective in horror - short, sharp and to the point!
girlwhowearsadirtyshirt
Submitted Comment:
I totally agree with you about Flash Fiction. Thanks for the helpful newsletter. :)
Tehanu
Submitted Comment:
Hey W.D., your mixture of action, horror, and comedy appeals to me. But I contest your bashing of Flash Fiction! I agree FF is a waste of time if your sole purpose as a writer is to get a novel or screenplay published. However, if a writer is interested in making those short sentences filled with small words as concise and appealing as possible, FF is good practice.
Also, what author doesn't take an imaginative break now and again? I think Flash is a good way to play with a new idea. Contest prompts might also give authors a feeling for a bigger story.
Perhaps you were hoping for comments that disagree with your POV. I am willing to be mocked for my dissension! But I pose this unhappy question to you - if your main purpose is to write a bestseller, then what are you doing spending time on this newsletter? Or WDC campfires? Or anything else that's considered fun and frivolous on this site?
Great NL as always. You made me sit up and take action.
Celticeagle/km2007
Submitted Comment:
I so agree with what you said about this new flash fiction fad. I whole heartedly agree.
Khaynne
Seisa-sleepingcatbooks.com 
Submitted Comment:
Bill, thanks for featuring my short story "Dark Chocolate" in the Horror newsletter!
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Horror/Scary: September 12, 2007 Issue [#1936]
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