\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/1523-.html
Comedy: February 14, 2007 Issue [#1523]

Newsletter Header
Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: The Milkman Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Hello my little love junkies...it is I The Milkman Author Icon and through this edition of the Writing.Com Romance Newsletter I promise to help you fall in love with...








A beautiful cow


Word from our sponsor

ASIN: 1542722411
Amazon's Price: $ 12.99


Letter from the editor

For hundreds of years farmers have played music for their dairy cows in hopes of greater milk production; however these farmers never had a cow like my Bessie in their barns. My bovine has never been far from music, news or the banter of deejays and for this, I have made a mistake. Over the weekend on the local radio stations aired a public service announcement… “Cupid has resigned”

The problem with having a creative cow is that she tries to apply for any job that requires an imagination. Of course she has sent in her resume` for this “love-arrow shooting, relationship creating, beauty of the beholder believing archer” and I happen to have a copy of her cover letter that I will post in its entirety below…

To the office of Magical, people-swooning beings,
From one Valentine Red and White Holstein

I’m applying for the position of Cow-pid. Please allow my changing the title of this position to better fulfill my qualifications.

My many worldly and love related attributes to contribute to the happiness of the lonely and lovelorn are as follows…

         As a writing ruminant I’m used to penning catch phrases that will contribute to stuffed animals, candy conversation hearts and the inside of Dove’s candy wrappers.

         As a mystery solver I’ve been trained with the ability to read people’s minds, body language and between the lines.

         As an animal with big ears and shoulders I’ve learned to listen with my heart.

         As an animal with a long fly-swatting tail I’m pretty accurate with small moving targets.

Although I have never played match-maker I’ve often given advice to humans about love and life.

Included are a few of my personal references…

The Easter Bunny
Santa Claus
The Milkman Author Icon
covertcow
Lady Stars Author Icon and her lovely cat, Fluffy
b_boonstra

Thank you for your consideration for this very prestigious employment opportunity.
Bovine Bessie

If my beautiful bovine gets this job of Cow-pid would that mean bring a new light to cow pies or that lovely little book called, “Who flung dung”? Would arrows loose their appeal on February 14th forever? As much as I love my cow I don’t think I’m ready for her controlling which woman I fall head over heels for…


Editor's Picks

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#607667 by Not Available.

 Valentine's Day Poem Open in new Window. (E)
A little poem about the gifts given during Valentine's Day (the edible ones anyway)
#1070866 by The Writer Author IconMail Icon

 Playing Cupid Open in new Window. (E)
There are some things you really shouldn't touch!
#1078876 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#622477 by Not Available.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#998488 by Not Available.



 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
         https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Don't forget to support our sponsor!

ASIN: B01CJ2TNQI
Amazon's Price: $ 5.99


Ask & Answer

If you missed my Comedy Newsletters and you want more...please tune in again next week...

*Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet* Don't Be Shy! Write Into This Newsletter! *Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet*

This form allows you to submit an item on Writing.Com and feedback, comments or questions to the Writing.Com Newsletter Editors. In some cases, due to the volume of submissions we receive, please understand that all feedback and submissions may not be responded to or listed in a newsletter. Thank you, in advance, for any feedback you can provide!
Writing.Com Item ID To Highlight (Optional):

Send a comment or question to the editor!
Limited to 2,500 characters.
Word from our sponsor
ASIN: B07RKLNKH7
Amazon's Price: $ 0.99

Removal Instructions

To stop receiving this newsletter, click here for your newsletter subscription list. Simply uncheck the box next to any newsletter(s) you wish to cancel and then click to "Submit Changes". You can edit your subscriptions at any time.


Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/1523-.html