This week: Resolute Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
—James Agate
Men should pledge themselves to nothing; for reflection makes a liar of their resolution.
—Sophocles
Rather than setting yourself a New Year's resolution, why not simply pick a reason for hating yourself for the next 365 days? Takes less time, and it's easier to stick to.
—Charlie Brooker |
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This newsletter is scheduled to come out on January 1, 2025, so it may be too late to talk about New Year's resolutions. But I will anyway.
Making resolutions always struck me as setting yourself up for failure. Back when I had a gym membership, I watched the participation of others peak on January 2 and then taper off, finally reverting to normal (or even less crowded than normal) by the end of the month. Meanwhile, I was chugging on, going every day, because for me, it wasn't a crafted "resolution." (I did end up failing after a few years of that, because the gym itself closed for a couple of months.)
This failure (whether the perennial "go to the gym" resolution or some other one) is, in my view, a combination of two things: First, you're suddenly making a lifestyle change based on some arbitrary calendar. And, second, you're resolving to do something that you don't really want to do.
So try a little reverse psychology.
Examples: "I will eat fewer vegetables this year." "I will sit on my ass and refrain from exercising." "I will let my house become hopelessly cluttered."
This has two main benefits.
One, you're going to fail at your New Year's resolutions anyway, so you might as well make ones that, when you do fail, you've at least done something positive for yourself. Like, if you fail at eating fewer vegetables, that means that you're eating more vegetables.
Two, you literally can't lose with this system. Either you fail (which you will), and something good happens as a result; or, you don't fail, in which case you can take joy in being one of the 1% of the population who actually sticks to a resolution for longer than a month. A rare case of win-win, like when you expect the worst and can therefore only be pleasantly surprised.
And even if you're reading this after midnight on January 1 wherever you are, you can implement this system for 2025 anyway. Simply wait until you inevitably fail a resolution, and then replace it with Waltz's new, improved system.
Your body and psyche will thank you. And you can thank me later. |
Some comedy to kick-start the new year:
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Comedy: January 01, 2025 Issue [#12916]
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