This week: The Trick to First Person Narrative Edited by: A Christmas Carol St.Ann  
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First person narratives are generally not immersive. In fact, most read as though the author has written a really long letter.
But some authors seem to have a magic sauce recipe to draw the reader in. How do they do it? |
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Writing a first person narrative that is immersive is not an easy task. Indeed, it takes a great amount of skill and craft. As with anything, developing that craft takes time, effort, energy, and wherewithal. Yeah, you have to want to.
Here’s a little taste of what I’ve learned.
•Bag the personal pronouns.
•Like this. (Here are super-raw first and second drafts of a new story I’m crafting. For your entertainment. Go ahead, laugh. But please don’t judge me.🙏 😂)
FIRST (15 “I” and 5 “my”)
This morning when I got up and turned on my computer, I was thrilled to see an invitation to my 50th high school reunion. I really had a good time back in high school and made some great friends and we’re all still friends today. I’m going to really enjoy an evening in their company. I remember the halls of that school like I remember my own home. My days were filled with more than book-learning. Those years were filled with life-lessons on friendship and growth. I’ll really enjoy reminiscing with everyone. I don’t reckon any of my old teachers would still be alive, but I know there will be photographs of them, and we’ll reminisce about them and the lessons we learned. It’ll be great.
It’s funny. On a whim, I drove past the old school, not that long ago, and all I could think of was how small it looked compared to the looming learning laboratory that had existed all these years in my memory.
I’ll probably get a few of my old friends and take a ride around the town and share some memories. I wonder if any of our old hangouts are still there. Maybe we can go inside and play some pinball or head over to the ice cream emporium for a sundae. I’d sure like it if some of the girls would join us. I could use a little time travel back to the days when things were so simple, and I was young, and immortal. Back before that awful night.
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SECOND (A little better) (0 “I” and 1 “my”)
It’s so nice to wake up on a dreary, rainy morning to the surprise email. 50th reunion bash at the old high school! How cool is that? Catching up with everyone we’ve lost touch with and reminiscing. What a thought! Maybe even reconnecting on a more more permanent level. It’s like a dream. And it’s about to come true.
Ms. Kovac and Mr. Lully must be long gone, but there’ll be lots of photos of them. It might be a good idea to dust off the yearbook and take it along to share, just in case.
Jann’s Ice Cream Emporium would be a great place to meet up after the festivities. Oh! The memories that place holds. The vanilla scent lingers in my memory even now. It’ll be delicious to pile into a booth with the gang and slurp up the melting ice cream while the Everly Brothers, courtesy of the massive gleaming jukebox, carry us back to the days when we were young, and immortal. Before that terrible night when everything that was wonderful about Rosefield, New Jersey evaporated with one terrible misdeed.
•=======•=======•======•
Here’s hoping you found the differences interesting and helpful.
Until next time, keep on writing and crafting on!
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Mystery: May 15, 2024 Issue [#12552]
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