This week: Infatuation Edited by: StephBee  
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“There’s a big difference between falling in love and infatuation.” – Phil McGraw
“I was named after Yul Brynner because my mother had an infatuation with him. Who names a Cuban kid Yul?” -- Yul Vazquez
As I write this, it’s Thanksgiving and I’m waiting for the Turkey to cook, however, when you read this, Thanksgiving will be over, and the holidays are just around the corner. For those who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you had an enjoyable day, and I hope all found a bunch of deals on Black Friday.
There’s so much going on in December. There’s gift shopping, cards, secret santa exchanges, decorating the trees, candles, menorahs, etc… It’s a season of good will. Love is just around the corner in December. It’s the most romantic time of the year! Or is it? How do you know when it’s love and not just infatuation. What is infatuation? Is it an external or internal romantic conflict plot point?
This newsletter I thought I’d take a look at infatuation. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
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From Merriam-Webster: Infatuation is a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love, admiration, or interest in something or someone.
Boy, that sounds rough, doesn’t it? If you watched Rod Stewart’s video above, you might wonder about Rod’s behavior. Seems over the top, doesn’t it? Infatuation is a strong attraction or euphoria for someone, while love is a deeper feeling of knowing someone fully. With infatuation, the object of your desire may not live up to the fantasy, or they don’t return your feelings.
So, what’s the difference? You might be infatuated if your feelings fall along the lines of lust, shallowness, or euphoria. Is infatuation love at first sight? Not necessarily. While both involve both intense feelings, infatuation involves more of a physical attraction and imagined fantasy about who the person might be.
Symptoms of Infatuation:
Constantly thinking about the other person
You feel the other person, who you don’t know, is the perfect person for you
You don’t know the person well
Most of what you know is based on their appearance or in a group setting
Love requires intimacy which infatuation lacks. Infatuation has 2 ways to go.
Now, infatuation can turn to love. If you get to know the person who is the object of your desire, and you develop a close bond. Love is service to another, while infatuation is self-serving. Mind you, infatuation isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can lead to the other person getting to know you, however it can be taken to unhealthy extremes if the other party does not have any romantic interest in you. Ponder this: Infatuation is romance & sex in one BIG high. When it’s over – it’s over and you move on. Love lingers, is a slow build that accepts everything about the other person, the good and the bad.
INTERNAL & EXTERNAL CONFLICT
Infatuation can drive an internal romantic conflict. Now, it might be an emotion that your hero is struggling with. He can't see past the person he's infatuated with to see the girl who is perfect for him right in front of him.
It can also drive external romantic conflict. The hero must protect the heroine from the antagonist who is infatuated with her. External romantic conflict always presents a "problem" or "conflict" that the hero and heroine have to solve together.
Either way, handled well, this complicated emotion can bring some intriguing complexity to the romance story you're writing.
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Love Poem I wrote in St Augustine FL. It was a creative burst at lunch.
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Feedback from my Romance/Love Newsletter dated: 1 NOV 2023, Finding Inspiration: Love Letters:
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Romance/Love: November 29, 2023 Issue [#12293]
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