This week: On Emotion Edited by: Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline  
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Do you believe emotion to be the enemy of logic? Why/why not?
Emotions are a part of the human experience. This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about the problems they can cause... and the benefits that they bring us.
Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline |
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I sometimes hear it said that emotion is the enemy of logic. It’s followed, too often, by the notion that women are emotional creatures, and therefore unsuited to positions of power, be it in business or government. This is an insult to both women and men; it’s the belief that women are incapable of coping with crises, and that men are incapable of any deep feeling. Both are, of course, untrue.
What is true is that excessive emotion can be problematic. Rage can lead to violence. An excess of love can lead to obsession. But then, an excess of anything can lead to trouble. Spend too much time working and life will pass you by. Eat too much good, home-cooked food and the weight will pile on. It is even possible to drink too much water – doing so can lead to hyponatremia. Emotion, like everything else, is about balance, and mostly the emotions people experience are healthy and natural.
I don’t know how it’s come about that the expression of pain and sadness is seen as weak. When you experience an upsetting event, it’s normal to feel, well, upset. There is nothing wrong, for example, with crying over the loss of a loved one. There’s nothing weak about needing time after such a loss. There’s nothing wrong, either, about shedding tears or feeling sad about the loss of a job, the end of a relationship (romantic or otherwise), failing to win a competition you put your heart and soul into, or any number of events that are significant to you. Indeed, there’s nothing wrong about shedding a tear when reading a good book, or watching a good movie. Art moves us, and there is no shame in expressing this. Tears are a part of the human experience, and allowing them to flow can be healing.
I also don’t understand why, to some, the expression of joy is considered to be childish. What’s so wrong about joy? The answer is: nothing. Joy is good. Joy is healthy. Life is tough, and where the things that bring us joy do not involve the harm of others, we should embrace them. I love seeing people happy and enthusiastic. What’s better than watching them break out into a big smile, their eyes sparkling, knowing that right here, right now, they’re happy to be alive to experience what’s making them feel that way? I get excited about things that other people might feel silly. We each of us have our passions and interests and that’s okay. Joy is good, and I wish you plenty of it.
Fear, of course, is less good, but a certain amount of it is necessary. Fear can help protect us. It leads to caution. It prepares your body to face danger, which can save your life. If you’re anything like me, you may feel fear in situations where it’s less helpful. I had a dreadful time in school whenever I had to do a presentation. I enjoyed performing plays, but would experience terrible stage fright. I still, as an adult, have something called 'white coat syndrome' – I get so anxious in medical situations that my blood pressure readings are much higher than they are at home. Fear is also used by business, politicians and the media to get people to act a certain way. For example, businesses use advertising to make people fear that if they don’t do this, or that, and especially if they don’t purchase certain products, they’ll be less socially acceptable; they won’t fit in. Fear and anger get viewers and sell papers, which is why there are far fewer happy, positive stories in the news than there are negative ones. That can make people believe that the world’s a terrible place. And politicians do as they’ve always done – they point fingers, mostly at the poor and the vulnerable and the powerless – to win votes and maintain the status quo. Because of this, it's important to question one's fear before acting on it (outside of a situation of clear, immediate danger). That does not automatically mean that a person's incapable of rational decisions when feeling fearful. Sometimes, it helps bring clarity about what truly matters.
Anger, too, seems like a negative emotion, and it definitely can be. Anger can lead to violence. It can cause a person to become bitter. It can cause health problems, relationship breakdowns, and general unhappiness. It can, however, be justified, and there are times when anger is necessary. When anger is well-managed, it can be a good motivator. Throughout history, anger at injustice has led to positive changes – workers’ rights, voting rights, human rights – that would have taken longer to achieve, or may never have been achieved, if people had not collectively expressed their feelings. Anger can also lead to self-improvement – it’s not always bad to be a little ticked off at your own actions, or your inaction, as long as you aren’t too hard on yourself. Again, it’s about balance.
And where would we be without love? Romantic love, parental love, platonic love, the love that we feel for and receive from our pets… we need it. It is difficult to become a healthy, happy human being without it. Love, inevitably, leads to pain when we lose the people (or animal companions) that we’ve let into our hearts, but that’s a part of the human experience. It also hurts when those we love abandon us, or betray us, or choose to harm us. Being wronged like that can leave lasting damage. A life isolated from others, however, is unhealthy too, and is arguably less fulfilling. I am an introvert, and my social circle is relatively small, but I cherish the time I spend with my loved ones. When we share an experience, watching their joy enhances my joy. When something’s happened to me, good or bad, I am glad to have someone to share my story with. When I need a hug, it’s right there, waiting for me. Love is good. Love is necessary.
Being a human being, then, equipped with a full set of emotions, is not something to sneer at or denigrate. It does not mean that you lack logic. It does not make you unfit to make a decision. Unless your emotions are out of control, you can feel what you feel and still be rational.
Don’t be ashamed of your emotions. You have them for a reason. If you allow them to, they will serve you well.
Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline
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Spiritual: June 07, 2023 Issue [#12003]
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