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| Actually, this newsletter was triggered by an age-old episode between my aunt and her aunt! But it got me thinking about how important full communication is in all relationships - probably, romantic ones most of all. |
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Dear Reader,
So, strangely enough, I'm basing this newsletter on an incident my aunt narrated to me about an episode with HER aunt (my great-aunt). The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to illustrate the importance of complete communication in any relationship, probably a romantic one most of all.
Here's what happened.
This was in the days when Snail-Mail was the most popular mode of communication. Before telephones were used often, and today's modern means of communication didn't exist.
My aunt met up with her aunt on a festive occasion, and, for some part of it, her behaviour wasn't appropriate for the occasion. Her aunt didn't like to chastise her on the spot, so she saved the telling-off for a later time. As it was, they didn't get to talk alone, so she wrote it in a two page letter. The letter was a bit of advice and a lot of rant. However, the basic was true, the behaviour had been inappropriate My aunt, a pre-teen at the time, replied on a postcard to say 'Okay, Aunty'. That's all she wrote: 'Okay, Aunty'.
What she meant was that she agreed that she had behaved badly and agreed that an apology was due, and by sending this postcard, she was making the apology.
Her aunt was livid.
She thought the young girl was being cheeky, writing back only an 'Okay' instead of a longer note with a proper apology. What did she mean by 'Okay' anyway? Her aunt's letter had ended with 'I'm very displeased with you' or some such thing. Did it mean 'okay, you may continue to be displeased'?
The family chuckled over this episode fifty-five years after it happened. But then I thought more about it. The child was agreeing, and had reached out to say she agreed, but had been misunderstood. Would silence have actually been better? Or, definitely, a longer note?
Today we're in an era where you don't use Snail-Mail. You don't even phone. You text. And it's not even 'Okay' because it's considered too time consuming to type four letters of the alphabet. So it's just K.
And how much communication is being lost, as we shorten the time taken to type? How much misunderstanding is brewing, unseen? And how much rich human interaction (of the two-page rant variety) is being done away with altogether? Are we losing out on some of the best parts of our relationships, because it's convenient to respond in two words ... or just one letter?
There was a time when 'Okay' didn't cut it. You needed to communicate more. And, inconvenient and time-consuming as that may sound, I sometimes wish that era would return.
Thanks for listening!
'K, then.
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Romance/Love: November 17, 2021 Issue [#11071]
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