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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/10722-Gained-in-Translation.html
Drama: May 12, 2021 Issue [#10722]




 This week: Gained in Translation
  Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter


There's a Hindi poem I'd studied long ago, as part of a college syllabus.
I came across a delightful rendition of it recently, and shared it on the newsfeed.
Here's the link, and I've given it again after my 'letter from the editor'.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5JWnondGY4
I enjoyed the rhythm of the words, and I wanted to share it with non-Hindi speakers here on Wdc, for them to join in the fun to the extent they could.
Lilith 🎄 Christmas Cheer Author Icon got interested enough to look for a translation and couldn't find one.
This got me thinking ...


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Letter from the editor


Dear Reader,

The Indian epic, the Ramayana, talks of Lord Rama.
Basically, Lord Rama's father, the king, had three wives - Kausalya; Kaikeyi; Sumitra. Kausalya was Rama's mother. Rama was heir to the throne, being the eldest son. Kaikeyi wanted her son, Bharata, to be king. She had once helped her husband in a war and earned herself a reward. She demanded that Rama be sent into a fourteen-year exile in the forest, and Bharata rule.

Panchvati is a poem by Maithilisharan Gupt, (link below) told from Lakshman's point of view, as he accompanies his brother, Lord Rama, and sister-in-law, Lady Sita, into exile in the forest.

This is a long poem, I am attempting to give the gist of some selected verses below.



Thirteen long years have passed
Seems like but yesterday
Our father writhed in pain
Watching his son Rama walk away.

Mother Kaikeyi did long
For her son to be the greatest
Reigning supreme on the throne
With Rama exiled in the forest.

But her son denied her dream
The throne wasn't his, he said
He wanted no title of king
He wore no crown on his head.

And yet the wise Bharata
He was the richest of them all
His was the joy of a hundred kings
Without pride, he had no fall.

Everyone craves a kingdom
To rule with great stature
We have found it in the forest
Ours is the bounty of nature.

Is the throne life's only goal?
Our ancestors, with such grace
Embraced life in the woods
Turning their back on the palace.

Watch the animals at play!
Watch Lady Sita's pleasure
She is the mother of them all
Of every precious creature.

In this kingdom of this king
The lion and the deer
Drink together at the stream
Neither has anything to fear.

My bhabhi , she waters her plants
And digs the earth with so much grace
All the worldly wealth cannot match
The joy on her face.

Our kith and kin, they weep for us
Imagining the forest's fury
If only I could bring them here
To the reality of this luxury.

Our mothers yearn to hold us close
But here, we have found
Mother Nature's tender caresses
On her lap, blessings abound.

If we've had our challenges
With every setback that we face
Comes the sweet gift of strength
And the outpouring of grace.

And when the challenge has been met
The strength and grace endure
Forever deep in our hearts
So we feel joy so pure.




It was with much trepidation that I decided to make this attempt -- the original poet is a revered name and it is scary to try and render his work in another language.

What made me do it is that I really wanted my WdC friends to listen to at least a bit of the original (link below) and knew it would be more meaningful to them if they had some idea of the context, and a hint of the cadence of the words.

What is noteworthy about this poem is that the exile is made out ot be a time of happiness, instead of a time of fear and isolation like other versions make it out to be.

I am sure a lot of the richness of the original has been lost, in the translation. It is impossible to portray all the nuances. But I hope you've enjoyed reading my words, and I do urge you to listen to even a tiny bit of the original and simply enjoy the rhythm. I really hope something has been gained in translation, too!

Some thoughts about translating this poem:
1. The background. In India, it is taken for granted that the basic story of Lord Rama is known. A Hindi speaker would not need an explanation of the characters or the situation. (At least, that would be the assumption.) English speakers would. How much background to give, and where? - That's a question that needed answering.
2. The idiom. At one point, the English idiom 'pride comes before a fall' fitted into my rhyme scheme, so I used it. I thought I'd done well in that verse. However, when my Dad read my piece, these were the lines that jarred him -- the idiom didn't fit in for him.
3. The intent. Usually, the fourteen-year exile is seen as a time of fear and isolation. Here, the poet makes it out to be one of peace and a rteurn to nature. It's important to get the intent across.

My aunt translates the works of our spiritual leader from Hindi to English. She has done more than forty books and has gained high regard from spiritual leaders. She says the word she finds most difficult to translate is the word for 'sin' -- because she has to understand the exact context in which 'sin' was used. An error? A deliberate action? A cover-up?

The world of translation is definitely intriguing!
Here are the responses by some of our authors, to the question:

Do you enjoy reading / listening to / creating literary translations from one language to another? What are the challenges and rewards of this?

Santeven Quokklaus Author Icon
Most of the translations I've read are from French or German. i do not know much German, but can read a little French, and that brings the biggest issue - sometimes the interpretation misses some of the subtlety of the language. When we studied Latin, it was one of the biggest issues - how do you write something 2000 years old in a modern vernacular without losing the meaning? I am currently reading Clive James' translation off Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy. He has maintained the poetic nature of the triptych style of the original and really seems to capture some of the nuances of the parody Dante was getting at in his words. My Italian is very rudimentary (let alone archaic Italian), so I am trusting that he does a good job. of course, it is Clive James and he is awesome, so there is that...

But, generally, I do not read translations. Sorry.

SantaBee Author Icon I generally don't do translations. I do have several Celine Dion songs that she peformed in French since that is the only other language I'm halfway comfortable with.

Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon Best to translate into one's first language with the understanding that not everyone you think speaks it will understand.

I grew up in a blue-collar factory town. I was never fluent in the local dialect because I didn't join groups and my parents came from elsewhere and didn't speak it. If I were to write in Montanan, another dialect I'm been exposed to, they would not understand. If I use words like yellowbell and huckleberry they could look it up on-line but a river-runs-through this place and they would have to watch the movie and even then... they wouldn't understand. Here the same can be said for simple words like "snow" and "mosquito"; they truly do not understand either.

I've blithered before how mono-lingual and mono-cultural Americans don't understand "sakura" or "hanami" no matter how good the translation from Japanese.

Language lives in a culture. They are not mere dead words on dead paper.

Kåre เลียม Enga Yes! Language does live in a culture -- but doesn't that mean that by translating, I've shared a bit of my culture with you?

Waltz Invictus Author Icon
Never given translations much thought. Certainly, I've read some, and of course there's the occasional non-English film with subtitles, but I can't say I seek such things out.

Learning French has made it easier for me to translate wine labels, though.

*Wink* - Ah Waltz Invictus, you have your priorities right! *Rolling*

Beholden Author Icon I have stated before that I think Gunter Grass is the best writer of the 20th Century. That judgement is entirely dependent on the skill of Grass' translator, however. I do not know enough German to read Grass in the original, and so am entirely indebted to his translator, Ralph Manheim (Look him up - he deserves it), for his work on Grass. He has described the translator's work as "to impersonate his author" and I cannot imagine anyone getting closer to the actual voice of Gunter Grass in his translations. At least, if they are as true to reality as they read, Grass is definitely the best writer I've ever read. So yes, I do enjoy reading books in translation, as long as it is well done.

As for creating translations, however, I do not know another language well enough to make an accurate translation of anything written in it. And if you want me to capture the flavour of the original, you can forget it. Most of any translating I do owes a lot to G-Translate and you know how quaint that little mischief maker is.

The great challenge of translation is to remain faithful to the spirit of the original. This is where Manheim is so excellent. When it comes to rewards of the craft, I have no idea what translators are paid but I hope that Manheim received half of Grass' royalties from his English translations. Certainly, he earned it.

A Christmas Carol St.Ann Author Icon
I have never translated a book, though I can read French.

The only novel translation I’ve ever read was Les Misérables
by Victor Hugo. The reward was losing myself in his style of prose and of course finding myself (in fractured bits) within his characters and story.

As for other books, I’m fascinated by translations of Holy Texts from all beliefs and faiths.

Yes, my dears; God really is in the details.

Ned Author Icon
There is little choice but to read translations if you love to read Dostoevsky and force yourself to read Solzhenitsyn. I think they have been faithfully translated and convey the original meaning, even if translating into English forces the addition of many niceties - such as definite articles - demanded by English but totally missing in Russian. It is a frank and blunt language.

Fitzgerald's is my favorite translation of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. I tried to read another and it didn't capture the poetic flow. But I have not read it in the original Persian.

I don't read books in other languages, though I have read the poetry of Pablo Neruda in the original Spanish to catch the beauty of it as written.

ForeverDreamer Author Icon
I study Spanish. I have read some very interesting work translated from Spanish. Jorge Luis Borges, from Argentina, is fascinating. His work is very thought provoking.

I also like Laura Esquivel from Mexico. Like Water For Chocolate (Como Agua para Chocolate) is very good.

These writers deal in magical realism. This type of work has a realistic setting. Magic and the supernatural seeps in in unexpected ways. For example, in Like Water for Chocolate, the main character Tita cares for the family and her mother. It is tradition in the family that the youngest daughter remains unmarred and cares for the mother. Tita is not happy about this. When she cooks, her emotions enter the food, making the whole family feel what she's feeling.

I have read these authors in Spanish, but I am not fluent enough to completely understand them. The translations are helpful. I like to sort of read both at the same time.

As for translating myself, I have done very little of it. I did make fifty dollars for translating a letter from an English speaking chiropractor into Spanish. It was a letter to a chiropractor in Argentina. It wasn't easy translating chiropractic terms. I did cheat a little. I had a Spanish professor from Puerto Rico at the time who was kind enough to proofread it for me. I wouldn't have been able to do it correctly without her help. I don't think I am brave enough to try it all on my own.

Vaishali Author Icon I personally have not translated any literary work myself but I have read certain translations. The most famous one is the Bhagwat Gita.I have read it in Hindi with shlokas in Sanskrit and also it's translation in English.I feel the best version is the original in Sanskrit and then the one in Hindi.

I have also read 'The Chief Seattle Speech' as a part of my school syllabus. It was originally written in a tribal language but was translated in English. It is a masterpiece which brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could read the original!

And, the discussion neatly summed up in the words of Paul Author Icon:


The rewards are the hundreds of thousands of stories it opens up.\

The challenge is finding translators that tell the story as the author would have if he spoke the language. That takes time.

For the full discussion on translations, visit the thread "Invalid Post"  Open in new Window. in Lilith 🎄 Christmas Cheer Author Icon's forum!

Thanks!
Owl Signature


A reading of the original, in HIndi,
with an introduction and
interspersed with commentary.
Those who want just a bit can start listening at 4.35, and go on as long as you feel like!


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