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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/10214-Community-Comedy.html
Comedy: June 10, 2020 Issue [#10214]




 This week: Community Comedy
  Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

New Halloween sig



2020 is hitting its half-way point. Our lives have changed suddenly, unexpectedly. In this Newsletter, we will enjoy some community humor that has been passed on to all of us.



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Letter from the editor

Hello folks! Welcome to the June edition of the Comedy Newsletter.

Do you believe the year from Hades is approaching the half-way mark of being O-V-E-R? I think a majority of us will be happy to goodbye to 2020. But we are here, now, trying to find some semblance of normalcy. Just when it seemed to be within reach as hair salons started opening again and roots, beards and shaggy hair got tended to as soon as possible. Nobody really wants to know what's under all those highlights, low lights and whatever our natural hair color used to be. It's the job of a professional hair stylist to make it go away or blend in better. We found out quickly that next to a mechanic and plumber, who keep our cars and toilets in working order, a hair stylist is the person we missed most of all to help us return to our perceived self-image. My timing is lousy since I cut my own hair one week before hair salons were allowed to open. *Shock2*

I was feeling unfunny the other day on the Newsfeed, and requested members to send me some one-lines, or funnies that would help bring others some humor. Below you will find some of their contributions. Lifting spirits sometimes takes a village! *Ha*


Community Contributions!


Lilli 🧿 ☕
“Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.”


~Brian K Compton~ (On a Rolllll! *Ha*)
“ Do you suppose they replaced the word dump with landfill because it sounded too trashy?”
“If there were a professional Solitaire league I'd finish in first place.”
“If you need people to give you space at work, just have a melt down. It worked for me.”
“I tell you I want to move mountains for you until the moment I'm told it needs to be done.”


quiet web
“Talking to you is like beating my head against a dead horse”



Prosperous Snow celebrating
“Don't just do something, stand there.”


GeminiGem🐾
“Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
He was awake all night wondering there really was a dog.”



runoffscribe
“I cried when I wrote this, then I sat back down and fixed it.”


Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel
OK so this is not so much a one liner as much as a reaction to my 13 year old son causing stress. Grant it he was just trying to show off and one up his friends but it was getting on my nerves that day so as he was getting ready to go chase down his friends I simply said:

"Just because you have one you don't have to be a dick."
There was a pause of silence then I watched as my son fell to the ground with laughter he laughed for a good 2 minutes but I knew when done I had hit a mark that sank home.


DRSmith
“My local restaurant finally opened up and I was gonna give the surely new waitress a nasty look... but she already had one!”


The above members each received a "Newsletters" Merit Badge. *Bigsmile* Thank you so much for your responses!



And, not to be a fuddy-duddy ,here are some of my favorite one-liners seen around Social Media and the Interwebs! *Rolling*

This morning a cop pulled me over for speeding. He told me, "I've been waiting for you all morning!" "I replied I got here as fast as I could!."
He didn't give me a ticket

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


*WitchHat* *WitchHat* *WitchHat*



I hope you had a few chuckles, folks. Many thanks to all those who participated in the making of this Newsletter with their puns, one-liners and humorous moments!

It's a One-Line Wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.

Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!




This is one of my new sigs


















Editor's Picks

s
I Killed Grandma Open in new Window. (13+)
The dangers of poor punctuation exploded!
#1737106 by s Author IconMail Icon

&
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1736518 by Not Available.


GeminiGem🐾
STATIC
Be Careful What You Wish For Open in new Window. (E)
The chickens want what they believe will be a better life...
#2165360 by GeminiGem🐾 Author IconMail Icon

&
STATIC
Buddy and Sally Run For Mayor Open in new Window. (13+)
New writer gets sent on assignment to a tiny mountain town.
#2145742 by GeminiGem🐾 Author IconMail Icon


Words Whirling 'Round
A whole bunch of 1liners!
 
STATIC
He Said / She Said Open in new Window. (13+)
People say the darndest things!
#2218747 by Words Whirling 'Round Author IconMail Icon


Sum1's Home
BOOK
Smile! (Groan?) You Know You Love These! Open in new Window. (13+)
Want to smile at least once a day? Then read these! Okay, maybe you'll groan some too...
#2177903 by Sum1's Home Author IconMail Icon

Lots and Lots of one-liners & Groaners!


 
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Ask & Answer

AJBurchell- Australia Author IconMail Icon

I enjoyed the News Letter *Delight* I've given up dieting until after lockdown... I've just made a great brew of pea and ham soup and we are enjoying that' with fresh bread mini loaves.

Yummy!!! Love ham and Pea soup! You made me hungry -- gee, thanks. *Sob* *Laugh*

SB Musing Author IconMail Icon

Before my little incident down a flight of stairs I would do about 6-10 miles a day, or more, sometimes calculating in at 30k steps. Now, not so much, but I have an injury to nurture and baby or else then it gets worse. Round is most certainly a shape! *Laugh* And the wardrobe is true, my jeans are shunned to the back of my closet.

I hear ya, kiddo! I'm constantly nurturing my arthritic joints. *Rolling* Nobody tells us when we're young that all those sports we played would come back to haunt us in a very painful way! I have 2 new hips which are young enough to do lots of stuff I love doing. Except, now my back and knees are yelling at me! *RollEyes*





Thank you for your feedback! We Editors really love it!

See you next time,

*Witch*

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