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 Review #4810937 |
| (4.0)| Greetings, sir! Welcome to writing.com, and thank you for requesting a review. I appreciate the concept you've developed here. The potential for redemption of the world's worst villain is definitely worthy of some contemplation, and one can't help feeling a little awed at the thought of Lucifer's return to the Light. However, I feel the need to say this is lacking in multiple areas of basic Christian belief. It presents such a one-sided view, indeed, that we marvel at Lucifer's hubris at thinking he can just drop everything and come marching back to New Jerusalem and expect to be welcomed with open arms. This very attitude of arrogance and presumption is what got him into his mess in the first place, and it's unwittingly telling that he still carries such a sense of entitlement. The idea, too, of returning to a city, rather than to the Person Who built the city, comes across as somewhat impersonal and removed. Lucifer should be desiring to restore his relationship with his Creator; instead, it almost feels like he's aiming at getting a high-ranking position in New Jerusalem by claiming he's reformed, like a mafioso fresh out of prison. Also, the basic concept of Christian redemption is not even touched on. Most Christians focus on the cross and the death and resurrection of Christ as the atonement for their sins. Without a proper grasp of the sacrifice of Christ, Lucifer has no chance of accepting salvation through the precious Blood. He cannot save himself simply by letting go of his former life; he has a debt to pay, and a Savior to embrace. This poem doesn't seem as though Lucifer is ready to fall at Christ's feet in humble, awestruck worship in gratitude for the enormous price paid for his salvation. Which brings me to another crucial point: is it even possible for Lucifer to be forgiven for what he has done through the ages? Humanity is not willing to forgive Hitler, and yet Lucifer has caused the torture, death and condemnation to hell of untold billions of people. He does not seem to have an attitude of sincere regret for and abhorrence of his actions; rather, he's merely tired of the daily grind and wants a shiny new job. This shallowness of motivation and extent of damage wrought makes us uneasy as we consider the matter, especially as we do not see how he is received at the gates. There is no resolution, no real redemption offered, only the shifting desires of a decidedly untrustworthy narrator. I am not going to presume to tell you how to modify your poem to make it more theologically sound, especially since I don't consider myself a devout believer in Christianity. I might suggest turning it into a story, which may end up being a novella, exploring multiple angles of what it means to truly be remorseful and appalled at one's own behavior, the cost of salvation, the consequences of one's actions, the pain, shame and difficulty involved in returning, and the power of forgiveness and redemption. This would allow for maximum character development, both in Lucifer and in Christ Himself as we see them interact, though I don't want to suggest anything potentially sacrilegious. Along the lines of creating a gripping, emotionally moving storyline, I remember how the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Mormons claim that Jesus and Lucifer are actually brothers. This would be a fascinating angle to pursue, if you care to dabble in what is usually considered somewhat unorthodox. In conclusion, I see a depiction of a deeply selfish figure coming to enter New Jerusalem with possibly evil intentions, or at the very least with an insufficient idea of what he's gotten himself into. This has brilliant potential, but I'm afraid it falls short of being the intensely well-rounded and in-depth study that the subject warrants. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/13/2025 @ 11:55pm EDT