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Review #4809102
Viewing a review of:
 The Fox Open in new Window. [E]
Flash Fiction
by Jacky Author Icon
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#4809102
Review of The Fox  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

Grandma Lee had a pretty life-changing experience there. True, it came pretty late in life, but it wasn’t too late; she could still do something worthwhile, as the fox advised her to. So she chose to… make potholders. It got her onto the local news, but I’m not sure if that’s what the fox had in mind!


*PenG* Suggestions:

I felt I had to do something worthwhile.”
At first, I thought that the narrator had told all this to the newswoman you mentioned in the next paragraph because of the closing speech marks, and I assume I had missed the opening ones, but there weren’t any. Since Grandma Lee likely didn’t say any of this out loud, you need to get rid of those speech marks at the end there.

“Eh, they’re easy, I’m pretty lazy, truth be told...”
I think this would work better as two sentences, with a period instead of the comma after ‘easy’.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I wonder what contest this was written for and what the prompt was. If you remember it, it might be worth adding this at the end. A good read!




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