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Review #4808936
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 Playground? Nay Ground. Open in new Window. [ASR]
Please help us change it to a Yay Ground
by THANKFUL SONALI is happy! Author Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

Wow, this is a brilliant take on the prompt! Activist poetry... Love it! You've described a condition which could easily be real, and brought it to the attention of the one person able to enact change. This is so realistic and relatable, encouraging us to speak up when we see a problem and do our best to have it fixed for the good of humanity.

I never like poking at poetry, and I do like the way this flows, conversationally and with feelings. I’m trying to think of a suggestion to make for Jeremy’s Bear Fund. Perhaps you can go in and unbold the key phrases now that the Cramp cycle is over (good grief, that sounds like menstruation *Rolling* *Blush*) And gather the phrases at the bottom instead, perhaps in a drop note. Also, you can add a couple more bits of punctuation here and there, commas and full stops, to help it flow.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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