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Review #4808775
Viewing a review of:
 The Alien in her Head Open in new Window. [E]
a human has a meteor fragment in her skull, of alien origin, containing quasicrystals
by maggie Author Icon
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#4808775
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

As I was reading, I wondered what inspired this story. It’s certainly quite ‘out there’ (pun intended). You didn’t say if this was a contest entry so I wasn’t sure if this was written for a prompt or perhaps the beginning of a longer story. It’s possible that there is more to it - the unnamed narrator could well be leading up to a humorous tale of life with his girlfriend after he discovered that she had a ‘space pebble’ lodged in her brain. He ran through a few possibilities as he was waiting for her to wake up - superpowers or speaking an alien language. I didn’t quite understand why she would suddenly have these gifts since it seemed but it would make for a fun story to find that she could do things she couldn’t do before. There was a lot of humour in this tale, mainly delivered quite matter-of-fact by the narrator, like Talk about baggage when he mentioned the rock, which made me chuckle.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I didn’t notice any technical errors but I do have a question. I wasn’t sure what the part about the narrator’s dream was about. He fell asleep in the chair by the side of her bed and dreamt about something that seemed to be unrelated to the story. If this was just to show that he was a little confused about her condition, it was oddly specific, but I suspect that it was important in some way and you never went back to explain it. I would suggest bringing that part back into the story later on if there was any relevance to it, otherwise the readers will be confused why it’s there.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

You left the ending open and the readers never got to find out what the girlfriend was like when she came around, if she developed any powers or, more likely, just carried on living as before. It’s fun to speculate though, and you did a good job making the readers wonder where this might be leading. A good read!




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