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 Review #4808571 |
 | How Many Superheroes Does It Take?  [13+] Can superpowers be too much?  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I felt for poor Superman, who couldn’t find anything in his own home because Lois kept moving things around, like all women do. Nothing to do with him forgetting where something was, of course - it was her evil doing, just to test and annoy him, and to have a reason to yell at him. That’s how we get our kicks! But I also felt for Lois, who didn’t do anything like that and was genuinely baffled how someone as ‘super’ as Superman could be so dense and not remember where things went. The story got off to a good start, with a little aside at the end of the first paragraph that took the readers on a short trip into someone else’s tale. Unfortunately, Jimmy was on the receiving end of Superman’s mutterings (super ventriloquism  ), which ended his relationship before it had even begun. I chuckled both at the brief interlude and the idea of putting this into the story, which I thought worked very well. Superman wasn’t really all that ‘super’ in this story and struggled with the simplest of tasks. Whether he can actually see in the dark and wouldn’t need to worry about firing up the light bulb is neither here nor there - had you stuck to canon, you wouldn’t have had such an entertaining story, which would have been a shame.  Suggestions: The story was well written but I have a couple of suggestions: A superhero, home from a busy day of fighting crime, wants nothing more than to come home, eat some dinner, and rest up for the next day. The repetition of ‘home’ was quite noticeable here. It reads like he is coming home twice, and I would suggest omitting the second one. The task of replacing a light bulb so simple instructions required to accomplish the feat are no longer required. This doesn’t seem to be a complete sentence. I would add a couple of words, and perhaps replace the last word to avoid repetition: The task of replacing a light bulb is so simple that instructions required to accomplish the feat are no longer necessary.  Final Thoughts: I appreciated that you put the contest this was written for as well as the prompt at the beginning of the story. I had never heard of the I Have To Write What? contest but it sounds fun, and you clearly had a great time writing for it so it’s a shame the contest is no longer active. It was hilarious to imagine that Superman would be doing a bit of DIY at the weekends, and even more so that he wouldn’t be any good at it. This was a very unique idea, and I enjoyed the read!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/30/2025 @ 11:44pm EDT