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Review #4808027
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Winter in Hamburg Open in new Window. [ASR]
A very important trip. 2024 Quill Awards Nominee for Flash Fiction
by Gratefully IE Author Icon
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#4808027
Review of Winter in Hamburg  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I was born in Hamburg so when I saw this story in your highlighted items, I had to click. It seems like an oddly specific prompt, but I’m glad you decided to write this story for it. From the ‘personal’ genre, I assume this is a story about you and your mother. It certainly reads like a true story; all the little details made it very easy to imagine. My parents were born before World War II but neither of them grew up in Hamburg; they moved there much later so I don’t know what it was like then. My dad never wanted to talk about growing up during that time, but my mother was happy to share her stories.

It sounds like this was a very interesting trip. You didn’t just get to see the places where your mother grew up but also got to connect with her. I wonder if after this trip, she would have talked about that time a bit more - she said she was never able to speak her mind so perhaps she felt more comfortable doing that afterwards. It’s one of my regrets that I never asked my grandparents about their experiences. I have no idea if they would have talked about it, but it would have been worth a try. I’m glad you had the opportunity to take this trip with your mother because it clearly meant a lot to her.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very well written and I didn’t notice any technical errors. The only suggestion I have is regarding the German phrases. I don’t know what the best way would be to show the translation, but readers who don’t speak the language and who don’t know that the translations are at the end might get confused. Even scrolling down to the bottom and then finding your place again might be a little cumbersome. To be fair, the phrases are pretty self-explanatory, but when I did something similar, I used popnotes so the readers only had to hover over the phrase to see the translation:

{popnote:"German phrase"}English translation{/popnote}

Which looks like this:

German phrase

Just an idea *Smile*


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I had forgotten all about Katzenzungen - I used to love them as a kid. I wonder if they still taste the same… It’s funny how a story like this can bring back memories, like the trip to Hamburg brought back memories for your mother. I found the whole story very relatable, right from the start when you were describing how one thing or another stopped you from going until you ran out of reasons not to, all the way to the end when it was clear that you were glad you went and took her on this trip. This was a great read!




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