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 Review #4803490 |
 | The Toaster Incident  [E] Flash Fiction  |
| (4.5)| Hi there, I found this on the read & review section and I'd like to take a minute to give you my thoughts on it. I'm not going to do a super in-depth review that I normally do, but I'll give a bit of a picking apart. I'd like to mention that in some of my reviews you may see a word with a dotted underline like this. This is a spot in a sentence that I've marked for your attention. I've packed a comment within the notes that you can read simply by mousing over the word or phrase with this dotted underline. I'm assuming that this was a "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" entry, and that the prompt was you have been warnedThat however is just a guess. *** Opening *** It works. If its the prompt you took care of that, and it still hooks at the same time. *** Style and Voice *** Overall the voicing and style is consistent and accomplishes a lot in the few words you use, there are, however a few spots I think could use a bit of attention. I'm a flash fiction person from time to time, and one think I have to say is the story I end up writing is always about 325 - 350 words until I thin it out. This requires to somehow arrive at the same point without diminishing the narrative. In short, every last word is precious. Here is a sentence that I think could have saved a word, and given a better image:  I slowly walked closer.I know this is a flash fiction so I can't really hammer this too much, but it's kind of a bland image, and I think a word could have well been saved here with a quick swap of:  I crept closer.Not much of a change, but at least for me, saving words is crucial. I think that it also gives a better image without the use of an adverb. Beyond that there really wasn't anything that stood out in the writing. *** Ending *** It's a fun little twist to the story that I hadn't expected. Those are the best ones. *** Summary *** To be honest, for almost the duration of the story I had reminders of 'The Brave Little Toaster' in my head. Then near the end we came closer to the movie 'Heavy Metal.' By the end I was completely wrong. With that said, it was a good writing that I enjoyed. Its short, simple, and sweet. It felt natural and fits with all the weird dreams that I have. Thanks for sharing it. It was a fun story to read.      My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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