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Review #4801557
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Desire and the Devil Open in new Window. [13+]
Kala and Rua defy the details.
by StephBee Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Steph!

Well good grief, this is a peculiar story. The strangeness of the ritual the princess and her guards must undergo is unsettling. I suppose if one is working from "the devil is in the details," it's a creative take that incorporates a February type romantic theme.

I liked the elements of magic and the vibrations of crystals you mentioned. The setting is carefully described like a movie, and the details of love and conception are spoken of as politely as possible, suitable for a 13+ rating. The two principal characters are painted pleasingly, and we can sympathize with their desires in the face of absurd requirements.

It's highly historically inaccurate... I can't imagine any ancient culture dreaming up quite such a distorted plan for carrying on the royal line. It assumes the ascendency of the female, for one, which was rare. I mean, the men are not rulers, just hanging around to help defend, advise and make babies. And artificial insemination? Nearly impossible in a primitive environment. Pagan rituals did include temple "acts," but I don't even know what became of the babies conceived, and that was kept strictly separate from royal lineages.

Perhaps you can choose "Fantasy" as the third genre, because then anything goes, and it suits the touches of magic mentioned.

A few things you can do to tidy it up include centering the scene dividers and keeping them to three asterisks, choosing a third primary genre such as "Drama" or "Cultural," and I noticed a small grammatical typo at some point (which I can never seem to find again when I begin the review *Laugh*)

Best of luck in the contest... Hey, may I ask how you know you won't be chosen as a judge?? Do you get the opportunity to self-eliminate by entering? I've always wondered about that. I guess it's like "duh..."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 02/21/2025 @ 7:58pm EST
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