%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4801491 |
 | Treat or Trick?  [13+] For Gutter Family Writing group  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I was wondering what the main character’s problem was with the chocolate chip cookies at the beginning. Was she on a diet, or worse, allergic to chocolate? The fact that her inner monologue had a touch of humour made me think there was a funny explanation. Maybe the cookies belonged to someone else and she would get in trouble for eating them. Then the story became more serious and I remembered that it was in the horror genre, not comedy. The reason for this soon became clear when she met the mysterious man whose eyes managed to hold her captive even across the room. His appearance gave some very strong hints as to who, or rather what, he was, and when he led her to another room and offered her a drink, it all became clear. Just why he had targeted her remained a mystery, especially since she seemed to have an aversion to blood, or a phobia of it. Or perhaps he had a sick sense of humour and picked her because of that. She fought valiantly against the urge, and that last line was quite chilling when it became apparent that her best friend was doomed.  Suggestions: The story was very well written and I didn’t notice any technical errors. The only thing I would suggest is regarding the contest or activity this was written for. It’s an old story so you might not remember, but I always find it useful if a writer includes the prompt that inspired a story. You said in the description that it was written for ‘Gutter Family Writing group’. I don’t know if that was a group on WDC or an offline group - I don’t remember it and it might be helpful to the readers to know a bit more about it.  Final Thoughts: You made it very easy for the readers to imagine the scenes, both at the party when the main character first met the mysterious man and later, when she was hiding herself away trying not to become what he had made her. The flashbacks worked well, and when you described her previous experiences with blood there was that touch of humour again I noticed at the beginning. A great story, I enjoyed the read!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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