%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4800471 |
 | The Monocle of Mortality  [13+] A device that reveals that which otherwise can't be seen. Writer's Cramp entry.  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I know the prompt asked for the story to be creative, but wow, this tale was quite something! This was a very unusual story, set in a world with magic where magical objects were a desirable commodity, and the main character was hunting for them. You described his job and the difficulties he was facing very well and with a generous measure of humour as he mused about some of his clients and the pointless artefacts they acquired. The last one, however, wasn’t a silly trinket but rather a powerful object, and when I finished reading, I asked myself if I would have had the strength to look at myself in the mirror like the main character did here, or if I would have been able to resist the temptation. Our narrator looks, of course, and he takes the revelation it gives him rather well. He doesn’t even wonder if there might be a way to avoid this fate or try to run away from it; his only concern is that he feels a little embarrassed at his own end and hopes he wouldn’t be tortured with a lecture about the benefits of being a vegan. Again, the humour here was spot on because what would be the point in talking to a dying man about his diet?   Suggestions: The story was very well written and I don’t have any technical suggestions, but I stumbled across one phrase: There’s nothing worse than spending half a fortnight slogging through a subterranean labyrinth I realise that a lot of this story relies on clever wordplay and I wondered if this was one of those instances, but I’m not sure it worked here. Expressing it like this sounds playful or dramatic, but half a fortnight is a week and I’ve never heard a week being described in this way. It might just be me, but it tore me out of the story for a moment.  Final Thoughts: It was interesting that the narrator knew the power of the magical artefacts and didn’t even question that what he saw would come to pass. Together with the rather wry observation that relic hunters don’t usually live very long, the readers learned a lot about him in a few sentences. But that was one of the few serious moments in the tale. Mostly, this was a very entertaining story, and I enjoyed reading it!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/16/2025 @ 12:59am EST