Hello, J.D. Wyle, aka jaywhyle!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "Today" poem this evening.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I found your poem in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love stream of consciousness writing when it's short and to the point, so your title and the fact that it was a poem drew me in and I clicked and read your "Today" poem and enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too!

I loved your poem so much. It was full of sincerity, humble, yet determined, and motivational. If it weren't so late, I'd go do something towards my goals right now. Though maybe this review can count. It is writing, and I hope it encourages you. Writing and encouraging others are two big lifetime goals for me.

I thought that your sandwiching the poem between the word today at the beginning and ending made it feel like a form poem and reinforced the importance and urgency of taking positive action on your goals today.

My favorite line was "Days, years, decades, I've been preparing--preparing and procrastinating." It was real and honest and very relatable to most people, I would think.

Your "Today" poem made me realize something. I had a goal I had scheduled to start on February 10th but that was presuming something else that was supposed to end on the ninth did end then, but it's now not going to end until late May. So I have to think and pray about whether it is worthy of "today" or if it can wait ... or if I really even want to do it. Mostly, when I really want to do something, I do start today / the day of the decision.

I didn't notice any spelling in your "Today" poem.

I wondered if you really did get started on the day you wrote this poem and what your goals and dreams were that inspired the poem. If you have a connected blog post or something, please feel free to share the link with me when / if you respond to this review.

I thought the self-help genre you selected for this poem was an appropriate match for it.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have three little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

It's a stream of consciousness poem, so this would interfere with that, but I was taught (not that I listen ... I put it in my writing all the time, because I say it in real life) that "actually" is not actually (haha) needed. So if you want to listen to my English instructors, I'd recommend taking out the "actually" that starts the second line of the second stanza. Right now, it looks like this:
"Actually, It is today that my dreams will transform from dreams to goals."
If you remove "actually," it would look like this:
"It is today that my dreams will transform from dreams to goals."
In this case, I think the poem is stronger without the word "actually," but it's totally your call.

We are allowed three genres, so I'd recommend that you choose two more for this poem of yours. I've been told that people do search by genre here. Perhaps "inspirational," "personal," or "experience might be nice options to consider? There's a drop down list, as you know, because you had to use it to select "self-help." I don't have it memorized; those are just some suggestions. The actual list will probably be more helpful.

It's always nice for me as a reader to have the form and line count listed below the poem, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your poem.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "Today" poem, and empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler











Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




The B.E.A.R. Fund



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .