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Review #4798745
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 Return to Sender Open in new Window. [E]
What happens when mail never arrives at its destination. A Writer's Cramp entry.
by Quiltingmama Author Icon
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#4798745
Review of Return to Sender  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

So many questions! There I was, hoping that all of them would be answered in the letter, but I only had more after reading it. I liked how you structured the story, making the readers curious what the letter might contain and then leaving it to their imagination to figure out what happened. The couple walk away from the mystery quite quickly and I’m sure they will forget the letter soon. The readers, on the other hand, can’t leave it behind so easily. Personally, I don’t think either of them were right. My guess would be that Jarred was killed before he ever received the letter, which wouldn’t be a better outcome than him finding out that his girl married someone else. I’m always hoping that I find something like that because it reminds us that people who came before us were real people. It’s one thing to hear a name or ‘know’ a person in passing but quite another to learn something about their lives. This letter gave the couple the opportunity to do that.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written, but I would recommend inserting paragraph breaks. I’m guessing you probably did away with them because most of the story was told in short lines of dialogue, but it makes it easier to read if there is a line break between the paragraphs, even if they only consist of one line of dialogue.

this letter is completely trashed.” He answered as he moved
The sentence continues after the speech with the dialogue tag “he answered”, so the period should be a comma and “he” should begin with a lowercase letter.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

The story had an unfinished feel to it, but I think that’s just because I was looking for closure. Did Stella think about the letter again the next time she picked up the book? Did they do some research who Jarred might have been and what happened to him, or did they forget all about it? That would be sad, not that Jarred or the woman would know any different, but it seems heartbreaking if after all this time, someone learned about their story and then didn’t do anything with it. A good story that left me wanting to read more.




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