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 Review #4797380 |
 | Ships That Don't Come In  [18+] Sometimes it's better when our wishes aren't granted.  |
 HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: A very sad story. Carla was counting her blessings, and Jenny’s life was not as glamorous as everyone assumed. Well, it seems like most people had an inkling what was actually going on but chose to ignore it. The description of small town life was quite disturbing. It looked beautiful from the outside but was rotten on the inside. No one was willing to acknowledge that not everything was as it seems. The town was even going to throw a big party for the happy couple, knowing deep down what was happening. The tale got quite a strong emotional response from me - the mark of a good story, for me. The beginning was exceptional. You listed all the things that were so great about Jenny and made Carla jealous and then shattered the illusion in the third paragraph. I liked how you left the readers staring at the crime scene while you went and filled in the blanks and told the backstory. It was a great way to build suspense because the readers were itching to find out why Jenny was where she was. Carla was an interesting character. She tried to do the right thing but was told in no uncertain terms to back off, and she did. I wonder if that featured somewhere in her reflections at the end, that she should have done something. But then, so should everyone else.  Suggestions: The story was very well written and I only have a couple of small suggestions: Miranda, Texas is nestled in an area where the high plains meet the piney woods meet the hill country. I don’t know if the two instances of “meet” were a style choice, but the repetition was quite noticeable and I would probably replace the second one with an “and”. curiousity seekers that wanted a gander Just a typo, “curiosity”.  Final Thoughts: I thought the story was excellent. It was reflective and quiet (except the murder, but that happened off-screen) and gave the readers plenty of opportunity to ask themselves how they would have acted in Carla or any else’s place. The question of what would happen to Jenny wasn’t as important as what happened to the townspeople. They felt no remorse for their action or inaction and were quick to point the finger at Jenny for ruining their illusion of a perfect town. A great story, I enjoyed the read!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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