%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4795695 |
 | The Squirrel  [13+] An ongoing battle between myself a tenacious squirrel, who I've dubbed as Satan  |
| (3.5)| Congratulations, Dragonfly! You will soon complete your fourth year in this community dedicated to writing inspiration and support. The following observations are offered in the spirit of friendly camaraderie and constructive support, but they are nothing more than one person's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth. TITLE: The first priority of a writer publishing or posting for public consumption is to connect with a potential audience, and that begins with the title. This title caught my attention because this creature is one of my favorite companions on my morning walks. SETTING: Imagery is the lifeblood of a story. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the creative writer uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the writer SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the wordsmith stirs an emotional response from the reader. The specific details provided by your narrator are very effective in transporting your reader onto this scene. PLOT: The first two paragraphs make the confrontational relationship between these two characters crystal clear. NARRATIVE: Using the first person voice with such spicy language helps your audience to relate with this character. PICKY COPY EDIT ITEMS: There are numerous typos and grammatical errors throughout the story. For example, in the fourth paragraph, "Once we learned of his condition, and saw how difficult is (should be "it") was for my mother-in-law... OVERALL IMPRESSION: Art happens in two places: in writers' minds as they create it, and in readers' minds as they perceive it. Creative writers explore possibilities through a lens colored by past experience and share them with an unseen audience. They call upon a unique reservoir of such enlightenment, conceptual skill and innovative research to evoke some spiritual reaction from your audience--be it joy, melancholy, shock, or any of a thousand others. Your presentation of the progression of this war had me chuckling. Thank you for sharing! No matter how accomplished someone is, there is always room for improvement; no matter how new someone is to a particular process, there are always others out there who could use your help with a little fresh perspective. We all started from the same point. A prima ballerina began her journey by taking a few faltering baby steps, falling down, getting up, and trying again. Even at the pinnacle of her career, she still practices tirelessly to continue honing her craft. You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be. Let the creativity flow from your soul!  Dave "The Poet's Place " * All items are rated in accordance with the guidelines provided in "Comment-In-A-Box" . My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 01/19/2025 @ 9:54am EST