Greetings appreciated Enzo!!

Right off the bat (excuse the cliche) I must admit I love your style, crudeness and reality as it is!

The imagery was on point though lacking the character's view. I felt a bit robotic, a news caster if you get my point.

We need the authenticity you've brought here to the table two show in the dialog an example:
“LILA! GET UP! LILA! LILA!” the woman’s screams pierced his ears. His stomach turned. He turned over shaking, his hands on the pavement, pulled himself to his feet."

A mother would say the child's name, but mostly pet names they might have, my bay, you name it.

Overall, it's well structured, very coherent, well written! I must admit there's a lot of "fat" that might refine the story.

With nothing else to contribute, KEEP Writing! I say adieu!











My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .