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 Review #4789370 |
 | A Dream of the Past  [E] Entry for Round 19 Roots and Wings Historical Writing Contest, fiction based on a truth  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: A very poignant story. The light relief the patients in the waiting room experienced didn’t take away their illness, but it gave them something to smile about, if only for a moment. Those moments, especially in situations like that, are priceless, and I’m sure they were all grateful for the interlude that took their minds off their own issues for a while. It was sweet how everyone joined in, although at first, I thought it was odd that Mr Thompson was pretending to eat the cat. The little girl was understandably upset, which made me think this was a bit of an odd joke to make, but in the end, it all turned out okay with Uncle Bob saving the day. I had to smile at the image of him stroking the imaginary cat, and at the imagination of the little girl who invented the cat in the first place, and I could picture the looks on the face of the people who walked in later and didn’t know how it all came about.  Suggestions: Uncle Bob gets out of his seat and walks over The story was written in past tense but here you switched to present tense. The next sentence is in past tense again. No, my cat got lose! Just a typo, “loose”. I wasn’t sure about the significance of the last paragraph. The contest required a true family story but at the end, you said Was that real? No, it was a dream. I assume you were trying to say that it was a true story and you dreamt about it, but that last paragraph seemed confusing. I would suggest trying to make that line a little clearer so it doesn’t sound like it’s a fictional story.  Final Thoughts: The descriptions at the beginning of the tale were very detailed, like the necessary house cleaning ritual, which made me think that you or someone in your family did experience this. The main character’s thoughts were heartbreaking and not something that anyone should ever have to go through, but unfortunately, as the full waiting room showed, it does happen. You showed it all in a very sympathetic way and the readers felt for the patients who were waiting and experienced that moment of relief with them. A well written story with a somewhat happy ending. I enjoyed the read.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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A Review from: "
You responded to this review 12/09/2024 @ 8:21pm EST