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 Review #4789211 |
 | Trick or Treat!  [GC] with a twist.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: It’s not quite the right time of year for this tale - it would have been a perfect story to read on Halloween! It would certainly put readers off opening the door to trick-or-treaters. The story jumped straight into the action with a body being discovered, and you didn’t skimp on the details as you described how the body was found. But the police investigations didn’t lead anywhere and the murderer wasn’t found. Right at the start of the second part of the tale, readers will be sure that they knew who did it - the way you described the setup of the husband, his dinner, the house, it was clear that he had to be the one who did it. Actually, it was never really clear if it actually was him. He maintained his innocence, and the fact that he found another woman so quickly didn’t have to mean anything, or so he claimed. It was both an interesting murder story and a horror story as the late night visitor was quite creepy.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I didn’t notice any errors, but I do have one suggestion. Peter was understandably horrified when he opened the door, but he recovered very quickly - too quickly, I felt. At first he assumed that someone was playing a trick on him, but when he worked out that it was real, he didn’t seem as scared as I would have expected him to be. He quite calmly explained where the son was and answered the questions without showing any sign of fear. The part where he relit his pipe and casually inquired when she needed to get back just didn’t ring true. There were no shaking hands as he touched the match to the tobacco, no quiver in his voice - how did he stay so calm? I think you missed a trick here because by him staying so calm, the readers don’t see any need to feel anxious either, and the impact on the ghostly visitor is somewhat lost after the first paragraph.  Final Thoughts: Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the story and thought the ending was great. It wasn’t clear if this unhinged ghost wanted revenge or spend eternity with her loving husband - at first I thought it was the former but then it seemed maybe it was the latter - but either way, she got her wish and it turned out that Peter should have been more concerned about her turning up on his doorstep after all. The way she looked out for her son at the end was a nice touch, and it took the edge off her actions a little. A good story!  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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A Review from: "
You responded to this review 12/09/2024 @ 12:53pm EST