Hi Amy,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering if Nalhia's father will continue to be a big part of her life. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a girl spends her life honoring her father after his death. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.