Hi HollyMerry,

This is a fantastic chapter. The chapter opens with vivid description. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the chapter. They will read on. This is a wonderful opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the chapter. You have set up your main characters and plot very well for the reader. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.