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 Review #4784906 |
 |  | The Journals of Mary Brownstone  [E] A secretary dreams of being a journalist and gets an unlikely shot. Writer's Cramp winner.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: Things were very different in 1968! Reading about it still makes me angry. Not only did the narrator not have the chance of becoming a reporter, being a woman, but she was also supposed to be grateful to her husband that he allowed her to be a secretary. I’m glad I wasn’t born then; I don’t think I would have done well with that kind of nonsense. It made it very satisfying that she got her chance in this tale though, even if it was a silly story but it was hers, and no one could take it from her. The boss was conveniently sick that day so it fell to her to get the scoop and attach her name to it, and she did it very successfully. This may have been her one and only chance, but she was pleased with her achievement, as she should be, and the readers were proud of her.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I didn’t notice any errors. I do have a couple of suggestions though. This was written as a diary entry and we tend to write our thoughts as they come into our heads without paying as much attention as we would if we were writing a story - especially in 1968 where this would have been hand written in a journal rather than typed on a computer where editing is much easier. However, as you have presented this as a story, there are a couple of repeated words that jumped out at me that you might want to edit, even if the character possibly wouldn’t have worried about it: absolutely/absolute There were four absolutely/absolutes in the first three paragraphs. She might have talked like that, but she wanted to be a journalist and likely wouldn’t have written like that, even in her diary. original She wasn’t allowed an original thought but was required to write down her bosses original ideas, even though nothing he said was original. I would probably reword this slightly and choose a couple of different words. was hardly what I had in mind. It hardly seems fair. Again, I would replace the second “hardly” with a different word. “It didn’t seem fair”, maybe?  Final Thoughts: You said this was a Cramp winner (congrats!) and I wondered what the prompt was. Was it supposed to be a diary entry? Were there supposed to be cows? I’m always curious what inspired a story, especially one as unusual as this one, and I would recommend putting the prompt at the bottom of the story. I liked this tale. It was quirky and fun to read, and the readers were cheering the main character on, hoping she wouldn’t be discovered and the story taken away from her. I always enjoy when a story gets an emotional reaction from me, and this one certainly did!  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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A Review from: "
You responded to this review 11/11/2024 @ 8:28pm EST