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Given: Oct 29, 2024 at 4:08am
Length: 1,181 Characters |
1,101 w/o WritingML
Greetings,
I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.
Well, this is fun: a whimsically old-fashioned free verse poem about gals dancing. It's cute and creative, though I haven't the foggiest idea why it was written. Was it a celebration of French woman's soccer? Knowing nothing about sports, especially from before I was born, I can't comment there.
You have a relaxed and conversational tone, describing what went on at the moonlight party in the park. I especially like the phrase "the oaks grew lanterns;" that's such a pretty, fairytale way of describing the decorations. And the "waxy croissant moon" is a clever way to describe it "french-ly." Croissant is actually the French word for crescent... Duh
I might suggest you add two more relevant genres to help us understand the theme, and also to make it easier to find when browsing. Perhaps "Experience," "Sports," "Comedy," "Fantasy" or "Drama" would be suitable.
Other than that, I don't have any suggestions for improvement here. Interesting work.
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