Hi Nathan,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of anticipation and aggravation. It takes all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering why Michael is not allowed to play outside. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a boy must steal out early to play in a post-nuclear war environment. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on Michael, and he comes across as a real person. There is only one line of dialogue, and it is well done and realistic. Michael's father speaks like a real person. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.