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 Review #4782301 |
 | 5-13: The Traveler and The Fox  [18+] The fox is not to be trifled with.  |
| (5.0)   Greetings, NaNotatoGo!! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024" and you have posted previous to me.  I'm very excited to read your entry to my activity ""13" - CLOSED" ! First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I love your title—The Traveler and The Fox. It immediately draws me in and makes me want to read what it's about. Your first paragraph also piques my interest, as I wonder where this is going, with the traveler kicking the fox away. And then I get to Paragraph 8!  I think I had forgotten this was a horror story up to this point.  And I realized shortly after that, the traveler should not have treated that fox so badly.   I'm very impressed with your writing. This flows along without distractions (well, as far as typos go, lol.) The macabre scene was definitely a distraction!  Great job surprising me like that! But seriously, I loved the calmness of your writing as you led (and intrigued) me through to the traveler meeting the nice woman.  I also noticed you have some knowledge about roots and herbs, which fits well in this piece without too much detail. I happen to like little tidbits like that, as it enriches the story a bit. Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderIt's not necessary, but you might consider enlarging the font size a little. Just a thought!  Paragragh 3: The man asked himself.  the man asked himself. Final ThoughtsYou definitely have a gift of storytelling. This tale could eventually be expanded into something longer, if you wanted to continue it in the future. I liked it very much. I also want to mention that I peeked in your portfolio and noticed you used to be a scare actor in a local haunted house! That is so cool! Oh, and I need to mention that I noticed Monk was one of your favorite shows.  Same here! I loved all the quirks in his character. It was a pleasure to read your writing! And thank you for taking part in ""13" - CLOSED" . A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 10/24/2024 @ 11:02am EDT