Hi anonymous,

This is a fantastic piece. The tone is dark and sinister. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what exactly has happened to this young person in order to make them take their own life. They will read to the last word to find out. In the piece, a young person has committed suicide in order to escape a cruel master. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The piece focuses on the youth, and they come across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the piece. The piece is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.