Hi Axel,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is dark and full of anxiety, sorrow and acceptance. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Alex will get out of her plight and out of the dark place she has lived in. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a 16 year old girl who is transformed into a dark being. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)take my advice-Should read "Take my advice,"

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.