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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4779927
Review #4779927
Viewing a review of:
 Orphans on Broadway Open in new Window. [13+]
The musical from 'Timmy'.
by Scifiwizard Retired Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "Orphans on Broadway Part TwoOpen in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Scifiwizard,

This is a fantastic entry. The entry opens with Anna and Penny folding and putting away sweaters. The reader is wondering why they are doing this task. They will read on to find out. This is a fantastic opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the entry. They are wondering if the plans the orphans have to get adopted will work. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The entry is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the entry. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)quote,-Should read "quo".

The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.

Reviewed by The Angel Army!
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/08/2024 @ 8:30pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4779927