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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4778979
Review #4778979
Viewing a review of:
 Weekly Poetry Challenge Five Open in new Window. [13+]
where I will store my weekly poetry challenge poems plus a few other related poems
by JCosmos Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "week seven Debate Kimo Poem Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings!

I’m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

I like how you’ve captured your thoughts on a current and sensitive topic. It’s like a quick notebook scribble, a moment’s observation, without being overly dramatic or taking any particular side.

Now, I don’t know if you care or not, and I don’t usually fuss about poetry, but I do have a few humble suggestions here. It appears, according to my count, that your syllables are off from the form requirements. The first line is 11 syllables, the second is 7 (correctly) but the third is also 7. The initials J. D. should count for two syllables, as they are pronounced as two words. Also, your "Walz" autocorrected to "Waltz," which is understandable.

Other than that, it's fine. I used to detest counting syllables myself; with the help of this poetry project, I'm getting more patient with it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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