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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4778619
Review #4778619
Viewing a review of:
 Haiku 0029 Open in new Window. [E]
Heartbreak
by Stargazer ~ DavidtheDreamer Author Icon
Review of Haiku 0029  Open in new Window.
Review by Cubby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*Tulipp* Greetings, Stargazer ~ DavidtheDreamer! I am reviewing this because I discovered in on Read & Review. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* Haikus are harder to write than what they look like, and I think you've done a great job with this. As your genre choices show, both nature and emotional are touched on. Nice work!

*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         The only thing that is hardly worth mentioning, is the word 'of' beginning in the second line. You might consider omitting it and then adding an extra syllable somewhere else. One example might be:

of frozen lonely heartbreak --> frozen deserted heartbreak


(or something similar)


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         Very nice! Thank you for sharing.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/30/2024 @ 2:46pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4778619