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Review #4776426
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The Widow’s Treat Open in new Window. [E]
Two local kids try to steal some money from an elderly widow at Halloween
by Kvothe Author Icon
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi Kvothe Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Widow’s Treat" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Good morning. I found your item listed on the site's Read & Review feature. That feature lists random items for members to review of those members currently online.

Your story is very timely as Halloween 2024 approaches. You list it as a contest entry but don't mention which contest. It's not a critical shortcoming as far as a review is concerned. But you should know that some reviewers review a contest entry from a little different perspective than a review in general. They may include whether the story answers the contest prompt, and the like.

For myself, I especially liked your twist at the end. It was unexpected, and marks a good horror story.

I understood your reference in the first sentence: There were few children with enough bottle ... But, it took me a couple times reading it to understand that meaning. Causing your reader to stumble over a reference is not usually a good thing.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

Your dialogue and punctuation is pretty good. So many fail with the nuances of dialogue. Yours moved the story along.

I hope your fare/fared well with your contest entry.

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/17/2024 @ 11:41am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4776426