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 Review #4775362 |
 | THE SWEETEST SUMMER WINE Part 1  [E] Hopefully, a developing love story in old age.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: This seemed like the beginning of a very sweet story. It ended rather abruptly, but as the title said, this was only the first part (I can see a few more chapters in your portfolio). The first sentence caught my attention; it worked perfectly to introduce your main character straight away and make me curious about her. You then went on to give the readers a few more details about her before introducing the second character, and surely, he wasn’t going to be the one she fell in love with. The way she saw him made it quite clear that she didn’t think much of him, and her observation that he was probably the sort of man she should steer well clear of, possibly for reasons of hygiene made me chuckle. Of course it was clear to the readers straight away that he would be the one, and why not? He seemed charming rather than grumpy, and helpful in his offer to clean her windows, and if she didn’t see it at the time, the sudden snowfall came to his aid so she had to invite him in. Their conversation was funny, and the cup of tea didn’t get served until the end of the chapter but it didn’t matter because they got to talk which was something that seemed to be lacking in both their lives.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I thought the dialogue sounded very natural. I did notice a few lines though where I thought that one long sentence would probably work better as two shorter ones, like these two: “Now you’re teasing me!” she laughed, “they’re in need… “Now that would be telling,” he replied, “can I help you with the kettle?” he added In both sentences, I would replace the comma before the second part of the speech with a period and start a new sentence because the first and second half of the sentence aren’t really connected and would be better standing on their own. There were other sentences like this; I just picked out a couple of examples.  Final Thoughts: The ending of this part or chapter actually worked well because Helena thought at the beginning that she only had Facebook friends these days, and asking Joshua if he was on Facebook was as good as an admission that she enjoyed his company and wanted to stay in touch, perhaps even be friends. I thought he was blowing his chance about half-way through when he started talking about his wife and wasn’t very complimentary about her, but she saw past his words and realised that he did love her. I thought this was a strong start to a longer story, and I enjoyed the read.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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