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Review #4774717
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The Garden: A Sonnet Open in new Window. [E]
A poem based on my allotment, welcoming springtime, written for a contest
by Jellyfish in Morocco Author Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Your lovely bright springtime sonnet is as uplifting and invigorating as the season you are evoking. The rhyme structure is perfectly adhered to, and though I'm not sure I could say why, my favourite line is 'And spinach sewn down neatly in straight lines.' Perhaps it is because your poem is alive with the activity of planting and this line exemplifies this.

The second line is perhaps the weakest (in my opinion, and as we know everyone has one of those - so please feel free to ignore), I would suggest either 'The trees lift their bare branches...' or perhaps even 'The trees exult, raising their budding branches to...' thus suggesting the excitement of springs return.

However your poem is beautiful just as it is, and certainly meets the prompt that inspired it.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/08/2024 @ 10:02am EDT
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