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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4774666
Review #4774666
Viewing a review of:
I Notice Open in new Window. [E]
Written for my wife, Laura.
by JACE Author Icon
Review of I Notice  Open in new Window.
Review by Allan Charles Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi, Jace!

What a lovely poem to honor your wife. I could feel the love you two have for each other through your words. It was a simple poem, but held a lot of emotion and I enjoyed the choppiness between the length of the rhymes.

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This poem started off happy and ended happy. *Delight* I feel, at least for me personally, that it’s hard to write an emotional poem without adding some darker aspects to it. You kept it light and positive but still managed to make it an emotional piece. Well done.

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I have no suggestions as to how to make this a better piece as far as grammar/spelling. Your word choice was simple, but effective in pulling the reader in to read more about your shared love.

I loved the pauses between the longer and shorter lines, adding a unique rhythm to your poem.

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Overall, I really enjoyed this poem! You have a talent writing poetry and this is a beautiful tribute to your wife. Well done!


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